A Night to Remember Part Deux....

Is it possible to have two of the best nights of my life back-to-back? Is it possible that what I consider "the best" was just two people sitting and talking in a car....? I have never felt healthier, happier, more alive than I do right now. I feel like the last three years are already forgotten and I have truly met my "Match." I was looking in all the wrong places for my soul mate. Don't get me wrong, I am frightened of things going wrong and ruining things and getting hurt, but for some reason this just feels so right... I can't believe how quickly things change. Will I ever get this smile off my face? I don't think so...

This even has mom's seal of approval.
<3

10-4 over and out.

A Night to Remember.....

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender my everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless when you talk to me
You leave me breathless the way you look at me
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

You leave me speechless (the way you smile, the way you touch my face)
You leave me breathless (it's something that you do I can't explain)
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name
Baby

You leave me speechless
You leave me breathless (the way you look at me)
You manage to disarm me, my soul is shining through
I can't help but surrender my everything to you

OMG. A great night indeed.... It was a night like I've never had before. <3

What's Goes on in the Mind of Bethany.....

The devil on one shoulder, the Angel on the other. Both fighting to control my thoughts and feelings. If only decisions were easy. If only life was easy. If only romance wasn't tragic and people didn't suck. God I hate "B." Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.....

~Unsexy~
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me


~Hands Clean~
If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protégé and one day you'll say you learned all you know from me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind

Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
What with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done
Up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm
body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

I'm not getting back tofether with "B." This much I know. I am not even sure at this point that I want to be his friend. However, do I want to be a homewrecker? Again? I so don't... So why do I feel so torn? What is the hold this guy has over me? What is wrong with my head??

An Interesting Turn of Events….

G’Late evening Kids & Porn Stars, happy September…. And for all you Teachers out there, nanny, nanny poo-poo, it’s back to school for you. To all you parents out there, congratulations on getting your kids out of the house, LOL.

So what’s been going on in the world of Bethany since last I blogged? Hmmm, let me begin.

My Carrie Girl flew home for a few days as a surprise for Maggie Sue’s wedding. I spent a lot of quality time with her and my Kel-Kel and it was awesome. I didn’t realize how much I missed Carrie…. It has been 10 years. She looked exactly the same and had the same sense of humor and caring quality about it. I am so glad she is back in my life (forgive me if I use this term a lot, this might be a sappy post, LOL). Maggie figured out her surprise, so that element was ruined, but we made the most of it. Of course, I spent close to 3 days preparing for Maggie Sue’s wedding (dress, shoes, nails, pedicure, etc) and I was so excited to be going to a second wedding with “B.” I found the perfect dress and shoes and I was so excited to be on his arm.

The night before the wedding Kel-Kel took Carrie to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. After the dinner, Carrie called me and said they were at a bar 2 seconds from my house – I had to come out and get her. We needed to party. When I arrived, the bride looked none-too-happy to see me. Carrie was bombed and there was noticeable tension in the air. It felt worse when I sat down. I got the nagging suspicion I was not wanted. Shortly before midnight, the bride-to-be left and I decided I just wanted to get out of there. I went home pissed off because I couldn’t understand the tension – or why I was invited to the wedding.
The day of the wedding came and Carrie and I shopped around getting her last minute details done (nails, booze, etc). We had fun chatting all day and I came to what I thought was an important decision about my gift for Maggie. There was just too much tension between us and I didn’t think a friendship was to be had.

I stressed about getting ready in time – waited for “B” who finally showed up at 5. I just needed to get the shoes on and we were off. No “You look beautiful,” no, “You look nice,” no nothing from him. I had to ask for a compliment. That should have been my clue for the tone of the evening.

The ceremony was nice and Maggie’s dress was beautiful. I saw her brother Dooda, who was like a big brother to me, after not seeing him for about 10 years. It was nice to see him again… I loved the short service and was looking forward to the open bar and spending the night with my girls and “B.” We got back to the hotel and enjoyed the cocktail hour. Finally it was time to head into the reception room and get our dance on. It seemed like the night flew by…. I am sure it did for the bride and groom. Here are some snippets from the evening:
1. “B” never once danced with me.
2. “B” disappeared to the bar and continually PAID for his beers even though it was OPEN BAR. It was Yankees Vs. Boston that night. SO??? I needed him!
3. “B” drank beer which does nothing to him and I paid $100 for the friggin hotel room.
4. “B” made several comments over and over as to how he was NEVER going to marry me. He embarrassed me in front of Kel-Kel’s whole family and made a horrible first impression to Carrie.
5. “B” hit on a woman when he finally came into the reception room and didn’t even flinch when I walked by.
6. When I finally confronted him at the bar, he continued to stay seated and would not come back to the reception with me.
7. When he finally came back in, it was last dance of the night. Did he ask me to dance? No. We fought instead.
8. I was hit on by two married men. My head was huge that night and “B” totally took down a notch. Especially since he was the only eye I wanted to catch.
9. I was treated badly by the bride’s mom, but that was to be expected. I caught up on the last 10 years with her bro’s and we had a good time in the bar after the reception.
10. “B” finally came to me and apologized. However, the night was already ruined.

He was drinking, so let him stay. We chatted with Dooda a bit before heading to bed. Dooda made several mentions at his disdain for “B.” The next morning we woke up and went for some breakfast. My whole idea of what the evening would be was ruined. Kel-Kel had a BBQ at her place that day and Carrie, myself, Andrea, Midge, Erica, and Mama Marshland was there. We recapped the wedding events and just caught up on old time and good times. It was a really pleasant evening. I <3 my girls.
I didn’t hear from “B” again. I went the whole week after the wedding with no calls, no e-mails, nothing. I didn’t call him either.

The following weekend – 25th and 26th, I headed out with Peter-Peter Pumpkin Eater Friday night and Saturday night I did dinner with my girls (Kel-Kel, Midge and Phan) and we enjoyed some drinkies and interesting conversations…. We also had to pick up our supplies from Midge. :) I love me some supplies!! LOL.
Sunday I finally got to see JKB007 for some lunchies. More good times.

I’m a busy gal!

Maggie Sue and I worked out our differences during this time as well and I am glad that we could let bygones be bygones. She's a freking married woman now and in time soon, she will be someone's mom. Wow.... How time flies and how things change.

Monday the 28th came and I e-mailed “B,” only to find he is on vacation all week. How nice. I called him 3 times during the week, to no avail.

Tuesday night I headed out with my work girlies for some dinner and reading with Psychic Francine. Another good reading and more great conversations…. I <3 my work girlies. Blade, Kimmy, SVU, & Danster. Our little foursome is expanding….

Friday night I knew was going to be good times – I only wished Kel-Kel could be there. On my way home from work I decided it would take al my will power, but I was not going to contact “B” again. As if he could sense it, he calls and I miss the call. We play phone tag through the evening. Around 8:30, I headed out with Erica, Andrea, and Midge to see a great Reggae band Midge knew of. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it an all nighter, but I plugged on. We headed over to Nyack and it looked like it might be a dud evening. We had up front seats, drinks, and some good things to laugh at. We had a second round. Then a nice young man came up to me offering to purchase myself and my girls some drinks. I happily obliged. Then I had another. I waved at the drummer. Mmmmm, love drummers. We decided (my girls and this guy that bought us drinks and his two friends) headed over to a “dance club” nearby. We got a free drink for entering and being chicks – hot! We danced and had a good time. After a short while I wanted to ditch the boys to go meet more, so we headed back to our original place. I feel a tap on my shoulder as I get back from using the ladies room.
“Bethany?,” this chubby, blonde, curly haired girl asks.
“Yes,” I respond.
“Hi – do you know who I am?,” she asks.
“No clue…..,” I say.
“I’m “R’s” neighbor, Julie,” she says. “You’re like ‘who the hell is this??’ Haha.”
I finally realize she is “B’s” neighbor that likes to leave him the little love notes. “B” likes to go by 2 different names. We’ve already established he beats to his own drum and is a weird dude.
“You are “R’s” FRIEND, right?,” she asks.
“Oh, hi,” I say. “How are you? Don’t tell “B” I am here. And, by the way, I am “B’s” girlfriend of 3 years. Not his friend,” I reply.
“Oh (insert snotty/confused look) are you on a date or something??,” She asks.
“No, girls night out,” I say.
This is the end of conversation at this point. She then proceeds to point at me and whisper to her friend. And laugh. C**T. I explain to Midge who she is. She comes by Midge and I so I try to make small talk so I can pick her brain. She gives me a rude answer to a question and walks away. She then proceeds to whisper and stare for the rest of the evening. So, I made a point of making a show. I grinded the Reggae singer. Danced with two guys I met. Then, for shits and giggles, I made out with the drummer before we left. F*** “B.” I had enough. I invited him to the next bar we were heading on to and we were out.
In the car ride I proceeded to call “B” and tell him off. Both on the home phone and his cell phone. We arrived at the next bar and I made a “friend” who purchased me a beverage and then my drummer arrived. He and I went outside and talked for a while. I told him about “B,” we hugged, we talked some more, and then headed back inside. The girls looked ready to go (I felt bad making them wait!) Drummer Boy says to Midge, “I’ll make sure Bethany gets home OK. Don’t worry.” Did I mention he’s a cop? LOL.

He drove me home and we exchanged #’s. A bitter sweet end to a rough night.

I woke up Saturday morning to an e-mail from him. <3
I also woke up with food poisoning. How can I tell it wasn’t a hangover? I was sober when I got home. I spent the day with Mama Dukes. I wanted to stay close to home.

Sunday was spent with Kel-Kel and RyRy. We did a little tux shopping, LOL, then headed over to Andrea’s job for some lunchies. Alas, she wasn’t there. We chowed down on some fine Olive Garden eats and then headed back to their house. Kel-Kel and I watched a chick flick and then had some good old fashioned girl talk. I needed it. I headed home late in the night and was getting ready to get some sleepies when my cell rang. Drummer Boy. We chatted for a ½ hour or so before his shift and made tentative plans to see one another again. I think I’m in love. Too bad he’s married. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yep Kids, Bethany is VERY unlucky in love.

Today is Labor Day and I actually did a tone of work around the house, had some yummy dinner eats with The OC and some more girl talk and some rehashing of the Married man issue, and then I came home to do actual work. What a thrilling 3 day weekend, LOL.

So, I just got off the phone with “B.” He said he never returned my calls from Friday because I told him to never call me again and he took it literally. He claims he never slept with Fatty le Blonde. We had nothing to say to one another. We ended the conversation with “have a good night,” and “take care.” It is SSSOOO over. Maybe I should date the married Drummer Boy. Doesn’t look like I will be getting married or having children any time soon. Argh……… 10-4 over and out.

Grey Goose Joey is now Grey Goose Bethany??

G'very early hungover morning Kids & Porn Stars.
Rule # 1 - Never drink and drive in parts unknown.
Rule # 2 - Never stay out until 1 AM on a "school night."
Rule # 3 - Never stay out until 1 AM on a "school night" while drinking heavily with friends.
Rule # 4 - Never say you are ok to drive if you really might not be (I TOTALLY thought I was though....)
Rule # 5 - Don't take turns to sharply when you are already aware that there is a ditch on the curve of the road.
Rule # 6 - Once you have rode into said ditch, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO KEEP DRIVING THE CAR.
Rule # 7 - Do not get out of the car and attmept to fix the under carriage in pitch black darkness in part unknown.
Rule # 8 - If your car makes weird sounds when you turn left, don't keep turning left to see if the car is still making that sound.
Rule # 9 - If you think you can fix the car in a drunken (and crying) state, "jiggling the handle" will NOT fix it. Just leave it alone until soberness sets in.
Rule # 10 - When sober, STILL DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FIX THE CAR - especially when you are already dressed for work.
Yes Kids, Bethany had her first (and last) drinking and driving accident. I am OK. It was a small ditch and the damage is minor compared to what it could have been (although I am fairly certain I will get anally raped on the cost to fix it - and yes, I have to fix it. A-It's a lease and B-I don't think I can keep driving it as is.) I feel stupid, so please keep your "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??" comments to yourself, I am already kicking myself in the ass for what could have happened. I've learned my lesson... I hate myself right now. I have officially become my dad. 10-4 over and out.

People Will Show Their True Colors, if You Let Them...

Hey there Kids & Porn Stars... Happy Monday. My weekend was fabulous. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend. Friday started off with a bang, but first let me tell you about Thursday night. I was out late Thursday night with Blade, SVU, Tracey from the Bronx (AKA - TB). We decided to meet up for dinner at The Westchester at PF Changs. Dinner and drinks were fabulous and it was nice to get the girls together and catch up since Blade just got back from Greece. After dinner, we decided to go out for drinks - TB needed to get home. So Blade, SVU an I headed out and hit up a few places. I met a boy or two and got a little buzzed, got a # and a "date" for next weekend. It was a good night until Blade got cranky about being out so late... Meanwhile it was her idea, but she thought we would only be out for one and one turned into 4-5. I don't remember driving over the bridge, but I got home safe and sound. LOL.

Friday AM I was wide awake at 7:30 AM because I needed to get some work done before we left and I still wasn't sure what time we were going. I was moving slow due to the hangover and lack of sleep. I was getting ready to get some work done and Mama Dukes says, "Does Kel-Kel wear her hair in a braid? Because she's here." Ooops, it was 8AM and I wasn't showered. After running around and showering, we were on the road by 9-ish. We chatted the whole way down, it felt like it took 10 minutes to get there. :) We stopped off on an errand in Toms River (stuff for my dad's will) and then it was off to Seaside. We spent a few hours in the sun, did the air lift ride thingy, played some games, had our palms read, and relaxed and enjoyed one anothers company. I'm so glad to have reconnected with her... I was supposed to go to a comedy club with TB, Blade, and Blade's sister, but we just couldn't get home in time. So when we finally did get home, we decided to go to the drive in movie theater in Warwick and we saw The Devil Wears Prada. RyRy wasn't feeling a girlie movie or going out since he worked so hard all day, so it was just us girls.

Saturday - Woke up very late and broke some lunch plans. I thought my night party was at 8, but it actually started at 5:45, so I didn't have much time to get anything done since I woke up so late. So I relaxed, got some stuff done around the house, tended to my sunburn, and then got ready for the big night. I arrived at Midge's place right on time - after running into my Kel-Kel on the road. We headed in together not knowing what to expect. What it turned out as, was fantastic. I got see my HS girlies, bought some good supplies, had a good time with my Kel-Kel, and found a new P/T job. (More about that later....) After the party, Kel-Kel and I ran to get some eats and then I was just to plain tired to do anything else. So we parted ways and went home.

Sunday - Woke up to Mama Dukes boxing with my kitty. She likes to call him Morris and for some reason, he likes her. It was cute, but annoying on a Sunday AM, LOL. Mama Dukes was in a grand mood since she was leaving for the beach in a few hours with AK and two friends. And Bethany has the place to herself until Wed. ROCK! After Mama Dukes left, I played with the pooches, watched some tube, then prepared for dinner with Clinger. I met up with him around 6:30 at my favorite Italian place - Pasta Cucina. I could barely hear him talk during dinner. It's not quite a feminine voice; he is more of a low talker. For all I know, he could have been saying how he wants to beat and rape me, because I really couldn't hear half of what he said. We drank a bottle of wine together, I was slightly buzzed and starting to get tired. We walked outside to my car where he proceeded to low talk. I was practically yawning in his face and he still wouldn't let me leave.... I mean, he is a really nice guy, but he may just be too laid back for me. He has now asked me to hang out on Wed. I fell bad because I still want to date other people and I think he's settled on dating me.... I want to see what JH has to offer next weekend.... Even if he is a smoker! We left it as we would speak tomorrow and then I was off to home. Where he called me and text messaged me. Too much!

Monday - Got to work in good spirits, considering I just had a 3 day weekend. My boss was having his man period and was fairly cranky and nasty to me which I felt was uncalled for. I told him off without really telling him off, if you know what I mean. Then Blade starts giving me 'tude all day for no reason. At lunch I had enough and said, "Why are you being so fucking snippy to me?? Did I do something to you??" Then in the afternoon she sent over some snippy e-mails and I had it. I went off on her in an e-mail and she never wrote back.... Today I came in to an apology card on my desk telling me I am silly, she is not mad at me, and we will always be friends. I can't say I believe it, but for not what can I do? I'm tired and all cried out and I don't want to be here now... I keep telling myself that I have people like my Kel-Kel (see below picture), KTU, Cowgirl, and last but not least DOC in my life. That's all I need.... :) 10-4 over and out.

Just a Snipet from my Day Off....

I Have Bushy Brows??

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars.... OK, so I decided to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure after work tonight. I figured I deserved it working so hard lately and all (and I friggin have Shingles again - not a bad case visually, but fucking painful as all hell this time around!!) So, I get the pedi and sit in the massage chair, read my book, and relax. When the technician finished, I moved over to a table to get my nails done. As she is doing my nails, she says, "You want da eyebrow wax too?" I say, "Sure, I guess I should." She says, "Ya, they bushy. I fix. I fix nice. Make pretty. Ok?" I say, "OK, sounds good." Then I see her eyebrows and I KNOW I am in for some real trouble. She had NONE. Well, I mean, she had about 12 hairs where each brow should be and the a real thick pencil line drawn in. "Oh God," I think to myself. I am screwed. LOL. She finishes up my nails as I try to think of a reason to get out of it. "Come," she says as she calls me into the "Waxing Room." "Here we go," I think to myself. I am too nice to say no at this point. I lay down and she grins and says, "Bushy, bushy, bushy. I fix." I figured, "Well, who the fuck wants to be bushy - anywhere, LOL??" I close my eyes and fear the worst. She waxes away and THEN brings out the tweezers. She is hacking away at my brows. I am scared. She finally says, "I finished. Go look in mirror." I walk a slow crawl to the mirror worried about what I might find because it really felt as though she scalped my brows... Lo and behold, they look fabulous. She knew what she was doing and I have two full eye brows in tact. Phew! 10-4 over and out.

Is Pedro There?

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars... Today was one of the worst and best days in a long, long time. So, as you may or may not know, I am EXTREMELY busy. My co-worker quit and I've been covering her desk since she left. Which hasn't really been a problem, since I love over time. However, the co-worker who quit left a small mess. One being an issue with a client that myself and her boss were never notified of by her. So I get an e-mail from another company I deal with telling me they accidentally fulfilled my order and I am not supposed to use the file they sent to my client and how dare I have sent another order when I knew "full well from last month that this months order would be denied"?? WHAT? This is the first time I am even working on this file and I tell this guy so. He insists he spoke to me, making me think I am losing my mind. So I send the co-worker (VSP) who left an e-mail asking her for some - any - input:

From: Bethany [mailto:Bethany@Isendjunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:40 AM
To: VSP (FID)
Subject: Hey!

Hey, two questions.... Did you work on E*** before you left?
Do you remember speaking to Dan about Z***** Z*** not being approved? This guy is nuts and I just totally went off on him about this.

Sorry to bother you with WK nonsense. How are you? LOL.
Do you know your e-mail address is still active (or at least in the Global Address list). LOL.

Me

Bethany
Brokerage
I Send You Junk Mail Company

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:50 AM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!


Hi,
I can't help you with those right now. I'd have to call you later.

And what does Dan (I'm assuming you mean Breen) have to do with Esoworld?

It figures they're keeping it active. God forbid she has them deactivate it and actually get the e-mails from now on. When I left the last time, I was gone for over a year and a half and when I came back, my e-mail was still active from before.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

-------------------------------------------------------------------

From: McDowell, Beth [mailto:Bethany@Isendyoujunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 11:59 AM
To: VSP(FID)
Subject: RE: Hey!

It was Dan Arnold from RMI. He is claiming to have spoken to me about your order and said he told me they were denied and how dare I put through another order.
Just let me know if you remember any of this?
They should reroute your e-mails - you have VM too. LOL.

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:08 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!

Ah. Sorry, can't help you. Get your new "boss" to help. Ahahahaha I just realized, if I help you, I help her. Sorry.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bethany [mailto:Bethany@Isendjunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:09 PM
To: VSP (FID)
Subject: RE: Hey!

Are you kidding me?

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:12 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!

No. Seriously. First, I can't help you because it's against policy for me to help you. Not unless I do it after hours. Second, I no longer work for WK so I shouldn't be involved in anything that has to do with accounts. Third, I am not helping her since she obviously has issues with me. And if I help you, I help her.

Unfortunately, it screws you. But then again, it's not your account and not your boss. So I wouldn't stress it.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bethany [mailto:Bethany@Isendjunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:14 PM
To: VSP (FID)
Subject: RE: Hey!

Wow, I didn't realize helping out a friend with a quick yes or no answer was so difficult.
Sorry I asked VSP.

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:19 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!

It has nothing to do with you Beth. And you're taking it personally when you shouldn't. You're putting this as a friend helping a friend, but it's not. If you were asking me for help on generic list brokerage questions, I don't have a problem. But you're asking me about accounts I personally worked on. It's not something I can help on or will help on. You should understand my position. And it doesn't help that I can't answer you now anyway since it's during business hours.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

-----Original Message-----
From: Bethany
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:35 PM
To: VSP (FID)'
Subject: RE: Hey!

VSP, it's my order - whether her name is on it or not and at this point, I need to get to the bottom of things.
This Dan guy is imagining a whole conversation with me where I supposedly laughed and called our client a fraud. All I was asking of you was whether you talked to him - yes or no. And I kind of think you're using the whole "business hours" thing as an excuse because you don't want to help Paula - which, yes, as a friend to you I understand, but as a friend to me I would think you could get past that for one second and say yes I talked to him or no I didn't. Maybe you think I was asking more of you - I don't know. But that was really all I needed from you....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bethany [mailto:Bethany@Isendjunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:41 PM
To: VSP (FID)
Subject: FW: Hey!

And.... I hope you don't think I am trying to fight with you, because I'm not!

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 12:52 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!

You obviously do not understand the way my company and other investment banks are set up. I cannot help another company in their business dealings without approval from Compliance.

But that's besides the point. I cannot believe that you're arguing about this with me DURING MY REGULAR JOB HOURS. You might not understand that, but that is how my world works now. I can joke around about what's going on at WK, but I cannot discuss specific business related matters. And since I don't want this to become some sort of world war 3 issue, please refrain from e-mailing me about WK at my Morgan Stanley e-mail from this point on.

And by the way, no, I cannot put aside my issues with her to help you. I've already helped enough considering how much she dislikes me. It is not in my best interest to help her in any way.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Bethany[mailto:Bethany@Isendjunkmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 2:01 PM
To: VSP (FID)
Subject: RE: Hey!

Oh my God VSP - I just said I WASN'T trying to argue with you about this, but I forgot who I was talking to. Grow up.

-----Original Message-----
From: VSP (FID) [mailto:VSP@morganstanley.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 2:03 PM
To: Bethany
Subject: RE: Hey!

Ok, you seriously need to drop this. Don't tell me to grow up when I had to tell you 3 times that I couldn't help you because of legal reasons. Since you can't discuss this rationally, let's just not discuss anything at all. Have a good day.

VSP
Morgan Stanley | Fixed Income Division
Tel: 1 (212) 761-XXXX

-----Original Message-----
From: Bethany
Sent: Tuesday, August 08, 2006 2:03 PM
To: VSP (FID)'
Subject: RE: Hey!

Agreed - take care!

Now, normally I would be upset about arguing with a friend, but this bitch is NOT a friend and I am glad to be rid of her. She really is narcissistic c*** rag that I was only friends with because she is SUCH a c*** rag that it's better to NOT have her as an enemy. Mama Dukes always send to be careful of people such as herself and once again, Mama Dukes proved to be correct. The guy wound up apologizing to me, so the day wasn't a total loss in regards to work and I finally have this coniving bitch out of my life. Ahhhh, freedom feels good. I wish her nothing but failure. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

Not in the Mood for Jokes...

Rose: "I'm not in the mood for jokes.... Especially about the little man in the fridge. You KNOW he scares me."

LOL.

Happy Anniversary to Us....

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars. Why am I not posting in the AM from work you ask? Because I am being pulled in about 9 different directions and I have little to NO time to do anything. But, me likey the overtime. Especially since I AM OFF THIS FRIDAY!!! Woo-hoo and it doesn't go against my vacation time (technically). LOL. The sad thing is, last Friday I was in bed by 7:30. Mama Dukes came crashing into my room at around 9, waking me. "There was a VM for you. Did you get it?" Logic says that if the VM voice tells you it's a new VM, then no, I didn't get it. But we are talking to Mama Dukes here and she can barely use the microwave.... So.... "No, I didn't." I check. No message. "Mama Dukes, did you delete it?" "No. I pressed 7." Me: "7 IS to delete!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!" Reason 5 million and 87 why I need to move, LOL. So I check the caller ID, see who called, and get the info I need. Back to sleep I went. My whole weekend was wasted recouping from a rough week, but I promised my peeps at work that I would meet them in Yonkers for VP's show. He was the only good comedian and we were all home by midnight.
Sunday I woke up and thought Mama Dukes was leaving for a few days. So I cleaned up, played with the pooches (a sick Max that cost me ANOTHER $300 with his darned allergic reactions), and decided since we had no soda it would be a good time for a Twised Tea. LOL. After 3, I thought it would be a good to start the project I needed to do for work and the damn cable connection went out. One hour, one sweaty Bethany, and one Twisted Tea later, I was back up and running and 2 hours later the project was complete. Not before my Doogalicious called and gave me some really good news. Congrats my boy! :) I knew it would all work out.
I am hoping my plans fall into place for my Friday off – wink-wink, I can’t wait!!
Maggie Sue’s wedding is coming, Midge’s “party” is this weekend, and Peter-Peter Pumpkin Eater is turning 30 on Friday (same day Maggie Sue turns 2-9, LOL). So I have two VERY busy weekends coming up (and I have next Thursday and Friday off, yea!!!)
The girls and I at work are (hopefully) planning a trip. I need a vacation…. ASAP, but if I leave my job anytime soon, it will be a while before I can take off again.
So tomorrow is my and “B’s” 3 year anniversary. Woo-hoo. Let’s see if he remembers and/or does anything about it.
In the meantime, I met someone else who is smothering me to death. LOL. It’s either one extreme or the other. I just can’t win.
What else can I tell you? Max is doing better since he is on medication. Work is good (except that I am crazy busy). I am planning a vacation and can’t wait to get away. The guy I met could be a psycho stalker, lol. “B” is an a**, LOL. I’m always tired. I have so many events coming up that I can’t wait for. I need to be off now. More to come. ;) 10-4 over and out.

Putzmeister

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Tuesday! I am back! But, I can't promise regular posts - things have been crazy on the Bethany homefront.
Kel-Kel and RyRy left me for 10 or so days and I was able to watch their "kids" and their house for a few nights. "B" and I enjoyed the pool and the movie theater room. Work has been nuts. My friend VSP quit and I've taken on her work load along side mine. SVU quit too and they told me today I will be taking on some of HER work load as well. All within 37.5 hours though, of course. That place is bullshit and I am glad I have TWO head hunters working for me to get me the hell out of there. Maggie Sue's Bridal shower was Sunday, the day after Kel-Kel got back from Disney. I got to see some old H.S. friends, Mama Marsh, and the lil sissy's. :) It was a great afternoon and I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE what Kel-Kel pulls together for my bridal shower some day. Maggie Sue was glowing and she raked in some awesome gifties. :)Everything Kel-Kel did was done with precision, a creative eye (she IS an artist), and love. I can't imagine having someone that wonderful taking care of details for my shower. <3 YOU DID A GREAT JOB, Kel-Kel!!! Maggie Sue must feel so loved! Her wedding is coming fast and furious. I've been doing OK on Weight Watchers, but not as good as I would have liked. I stopped holding Maggie's wedding over my head as a reason or time frame to lose weight. I need to focus on me and my lifestyle change. Change only comes when you allow it. So I am now in search of a new gym with work out classes - damn the price. There is no price for good health. I've hardly read anything this summer, I'm either working or out and tonight is the first night in a while I can just sit and relax and I'm not thoroughly exhausted (thanks to the Iron pills I've been taking!) Little Max had a vet emergency (again) last night and $300 later, he's feeling better. They think it's either Allergies, Mites, Ringworm, or a Yeast Infection on his little belly. The poor thing. He's happy tonight though and as soon as this heat wave gives up, we are going to have some serious Mommy and me time. He needs the exercise, as do I. :) I feel pumped, energized and loved by my good friends. I'm feeling good and I hope this feeling lasts as I think this positive energy will shine in my job interviews, LOL.

Everyone keep your fingers crossed - I don't want to jinx anything, but someone I love may be a lot closer to me very soon. So keep your prayers with me (and him). You know who you are, I love you and I find myself thinking about you way more than I should. ;) Even though you're a nut - slightly cracked. We are getting SO loaded when you get home. I need to be off now. Books to read, Tivo to watch, and pups to smother with love. I'll post more regularly now (hopefully) because I know I haven't covered the last few weeks of my life in full, things were definitely left out.... 10-4 over and out.

Hey People.....

Hey Kids & Porn Stars.... Sorry for the lack of blogging, I will be back in effect very, very soon. Work has been crazy, I've been sick (turns out I'm anemic), and I just haven't had much going on in the world of Bethany. I will get some stuff together soon.... 10-4 over and out!

It's Always Sexy, in the City....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars. Happy Monday. Actually, not so happy. My company is one of the only companies open today. Most places when the extra mile and gave their employees Monday AND Tuesday off for the holiday. Not my company. So what is there to do? Well, I have plenty of work I can do and I won't be bother since none of my clients or companies I deal with are opened today, but I would still much rather be home sleeping right now. I hate this company some times. And the crappy truth? My co-worker couldn't come in because the day care is closed and she couldn't find a babysitter. So I HAD to come in. Even though I have 125 vacation hours banked. Nice. So here is my weekly weekend recap:
Friday: Worked all day, of course. I was so wired, I couldn't wait to get out of the office. I was heading out that night to a comedy club with my work girlies and I was excited. As it turns out, VSP my co-worker, is quitting. the place is going to go nuts when she leaves because we are short staffed as it is, they are thinking about pulling me off my job part time to help out in another department, and now she is going to leave. That probably means they won't be able to pull me, which is awesome (for me). It's also good for her because she is so bitter working here and she is moving on to something bigger and better. After work, I headed to the mall in order to find some new clothes for my night out. I only went to one store and I was not impressed with their selection. I picked out a few things, and headed home. I didn't like the way stuff looked on me, so I wound up wearing something I already had. After I was finally satisfied with how I looked (and vowed to join Weight Watchers this week, LOL) I headed out. When iw as leaving, I stepped in doggie poo because my mom didn't get her dogs out quick enough. I changed my shoes. I knew it was a mistake to change them, but I did. I didn't know how long it was going to take me to get there and I didn't want to make everyone else late. My girls directions were fabulous and I was over the bridge and in Yonkers in no time. I waited at the Stop-N-Shop for "Blade" (nickname story to come later) and Kimmy to pick me up. I saw Blade and honked and waved - no Kimmy. "Kimmy's babysitter bailed, it's just me, you, my sister and her friend. Let's go park your car on the street." We were afraid I get towed. So I followed her to a spot, then I got in her car. I was a little nervous about hanging out with Blade alone. I always felt like she was my friend because we had mutual friends, so it felt weird. However, when we were driving, she said, "I can be open with you, right?" Then I knew, we were friends. :) So we get to the Bronx and head over to her sisters place. Right off the bat, I can see her sister is cool. We walk over to the subway and right away I can see her sister is annoyed that I am SO subway illiterate. Sorry, I always drive.... :) LOL. So we get on the subway and make friends all along the way. I knew we would. When we got into the city, we walked around and found a place to have some dinner. We ordered up some appetizers and ate and chatted, getting to know one another. LC (Blades sister) had a friend that was meeting up with us at the comedy club. After we ate, we walked over and waited for him to arrive. When we finally got in and seated, I knew trouble was a brewing. At the table right next to me were 3 people who seemed young. I was right. They were there to celebrate one of the girls 21st birthday. How fun for me that they would be SCREAMING in my ear all night. How fun for me. So I ignored them and got my drink on (mmm, Apple Martini's.) The first comic and the MC were hilarious. Then a group came in late and sat behind me. As if it wasn't bad enough that they were late, they TALKED throughout the rest of the first act. Are they kidding me? The second comedian came on and THEY WERE STILL TALKING. I ignored them and ordered a second drink. I turned around twice to give them the "SHUT UP" eyes. It didn't work. When the third comedian came on, I couldn't take it anymore. I turned around and said the following (there were 6 of them - 3 guys, 3 girls):
Me (excitedly) - "Are you guys here to see the show?"
Guy #1 - "No. Why?'
Me (Angrily) - "Because we are here to see the show."
Girl #1 - "So?"
Me (Completely pissed off) - "So shut the f*** up!"
Girl #2 - "Oh know she didn't."
Guy #2 - "Just shut up and drink your wine."
Blade - "She will. Drink up and enjoy!" We clink glasses.
I turned back around and they remained quiet for a short period of time. Then they started talking again. The comedian actually had to ask them to shut up. Ridiculous. After the third comedian, the show wrapped up and we remained in our seats getting ourselves together. Blade turns to me and says she can't believe it. We tell her sister and her friend what happened. Blade says, "You didn't hear her last comment?" I say, "No, what?" She said, "The girl said to one of us, 'that's one dead white bitch.' Can you believe it?" Then I feel something hit my back. Are they kidding me? LC is like, "They just threw something at you!" Blade said, "Let's just go. You guys have a good night - that's what we are going to do" then we headed down to the bathroom. "Can you believe this??" Then she shows me. "I'm always prepared Bethany...." She whips out a switch blade from her purse. "Holy crap!" "See, no worries Bethany - I've got your back!" I was in total shock. "I've never had a friend who's actually had my back before!!! They usually start the fights, then throw me in to protect them!! I'm going out with you more often" LOL. He sister says, "We've got your back Bethany - no worries!" Awesome. We head out of the club, say goodbye to the friend and start walking. We walked for what seemed like miles - through Chelsea, Soho, and some other area that I have never been to. My feet were all blistered up and I needed better shows.... ASAP. We stopped for bandaids, but they didn't help. Finally, we came across a 24 hour Duane Read. "Do you have flips flops??," we asked. "Aisle 4." We look - nothing. I wound up buying a pair of slippers that said, "World's Greatest Mom." It was crazy and weird, but my feet felt so much better. We walked some more and jumped on the subway. We made a friend on the subway and when he and his boyfriend got off, we all fell asleep. I arrived home around 4 AM, blistered and exhausted.
Saturday - Awoke to my cell phone going off... The OC. We had plans for walking and lunch, but I couldn't move. My feet were in pain, I had no voice and I was still so tired. She told me to go back to sleep - she'd call back. Around two hours later, I was off to her place. We enjoyed a nice lunch, she gave me a tour of her place, and we talked. It was nice to talk to her and exchange stories and know that the trust we have in one another exceeded lots of boundaries. Around 6, I left for home with the intention of taking a nap. GSB and DP both called. All I wanted was sleep. But, GSB talked me into coming up to his place. Of course, when I got there, LMC called looking to hang out, I told her where I was. We went inside and talked and drank. It was a nice night catching up and watching Sebastian Bach on his new show, LOL.
Sunday - I forgot where I was the next morning when I woke up there, but quickly realized that I was still at his place. LOL. I headed home around 11 and napped. I did nothing all day and enjoyed every minute of it.
Now, here I sit at work, counting down the minutes until 2 PM when I can leave. I fell like doing NO work, but I will pay for it on Wed. if I don't.... I guess I should be off then. 10-4 over and out.

Ooops.....

I think I've been found by my stalker.... I'll keep you all posted. 10-4 over and out.

Drug Pusher....

G'Evening Kids & Porn Stars... I had a jam packed weekend and I am still exhausted from it. Last Thursday I had a surprise phone call in regards to setting up an interview. I had been called before, returned the call, and never heard back, so I chocked it up to bad timing and that it wasn't meant to be. So when the Boss Man called again, I was pleasantly surprised. I made it a point to call back Friday - no matter what and I did and I was set up on an interview for Saturday AM. The thing is, it is where RyRy works. If I do get hired, I would be working with him. So, I immediately contacted him for pointers and tips and between him, Kel-Kel and I, it was decided I would head up to there place for some dinner and so I could chat with RyRy. I was afraid of getting the job and taking it and being a screw up and having RyRy look bad. I was afraid of taking the job and getting into school and quitting in 3 years and having RyRy look bad. I was just plain scared of getting a new job. But, most of all, I have an underlying fear of working with my friends husband. I mean, look at what happened with KTU and Larry. I know damn well that would NEVER happen, but now I am gun shy. I worked off all that worry and decided to hell with it, it was time to make Bethany better. So, Friday night I harassed RyRy for info, we had some din-din, did some online shopping ;), and then I headed home to get rested up for the AM interview. I said my goodbyes and left.
Saturday - I woke up so early. Partly because of nerves and partly because I wanted to make sure I had enough time to get there. I dressed, printed off some fresh copies of my resume and headed off. I met with RyRy's boss and we talked for about an hour. I left the interview feeling good about things and headed straight home for a nap. Later that night, "B" called.
"What are you doing tonight?," He asked.
"Hanging out with you, I thought," I answered.
"Yea, right, I am at a party, I'll explain later.... I'll call you soon."
WTF? He's at a party and didn't invite me? I called him back and he "couldn't hear me." I text messaged him. Was I just supposed to wait for him to call me back - possibly very late or not at all? He finally called me around 8. Apparently, he took on a second job, bartending at parties. Now he knows I am looking for a cake job like that and he goes and schmoozes HIS way into a job like that? Argh. So we make plans to go eat, I get ready and headed over. It was nice to see him.... Just like the weekend before, all those feelings from the beginning of our relationship rushed back to me. We headed out for some eats and talked over my interview and the condos I would be looking at. He talked about his two jobs and I gave him some bartending pointers. After we ate, we headed over to The Saloon for some drinks. We talked some more and out it came....
"Marriage is off the table. I can't stand talking about it anymore!," he said to me.
"Your a piece of shit," I said.
I got drunk on two glasses of wine and then we went back to his place where in the throws of passion, I bit his lip. Hard. F**ker deserved it. I set my alarm for 8:45 and we passed out.

Sunday - I woke "B" up to say goodbye and I was off for my house. I quickly dressed and then Mama Dukes and I were off to "upstate" to look at condo's with my cousin. I was able to look at 3 and I fell in love with one. The only thing holding me back from making an offer was I still have not heard back from my Stock Broker guy... Very frustrating. After we looked at the places (and Mama Dukes was SO negative about the complex.... Showing signs that she doesn't want me to move out, again frustrating), we headed out to lunch and shopping. By the time I got home, I was so wiped I needed a nap. It was a very long, very productive weekend.

So here I am, Wednesday morning, finally getting a chance to finish this post. Work has been crazy and they let my friend The OC go yesterday. I am really starting to hate this place and hate the way they do things here. I can't fathom how some people who do absolutely nothing get promoted and congratulated while those of us who bust ass get crapped on. Right before I found out they let her go, I was given the news that I would be once again pulled to work part time in another department because I am so "intelligent" and because I am "such a hard worker." No, it's just that I have a boss who will bend over and take it in the ass rather than stick up for me. The kicker? My co-worker/teammate is out of the office again this week for 2 days (death in her family) and will be out part of week next week since the day care is closed for the holiday. I don't begrudge her these things and I don't hold it against her. But, I am covering her desk, just got finished covering VSP's desk while she was in Vegas, my boss doesn't do ANYTHING, and now they want to give me MORE responsibilities?? WHERE THE F**K IS MY TIME OFF??? Oh that's right, when I ask for time, I get guilted into not taking it, or taking a shorter time period, or getting crapped on when I get back. ARGH!!!!!! On top of this, the Stock Broker Guy called me (after having my stuff for a month and a half!!!) to tell me he "can't help" me. Dick. Then my cousin called to tell me there was an offer in on the condo I fell in love with. Tuesday just wasn't my day. The only good thing about Tuesday? A nice e-mail from "B," a few good chuckles with The Cowgirl, and my Kel-Kel called me to tell me that RyRy's boss liked me (fingers crossed!!!). I couldn't sleep last night and right now I want to cry. Not because of my stuff - I'll get through it all, I always do - but for The OC. She didn't need this and she doesn't deserve this. I am so aggravated with this company that I think I will suck them dry of a little overtime today. Bastards. 10-4 over and out.

Yes, I'm Still Alive....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Monday... I'm here, still alive and kicking. Well, alive at least. Not much to report in Bethanyland. I haven't been doing much of anything lately.... Just working and sleeping and not blogging. The only thing to report is that Friday night I finally got to see my "B." We started at "our place." We stayed for a drink or two, then headed to another bar/pu for some dinner. I wasn't much in the mood for drinks, so I only had one (go me!). We ate some din-din, then we rented a movie (Date Movie - terrible), and went back to his place. Of course, as per my MO, I fell asleep within the first 10 minutes. I woke up several times in the middle of the night, but felt happy and comfortable to find myself sleeping next to him. The next morning, when I went to leave, we kissed goodye. And all the butterflies and excited feeling rushed through me. I found it so weird that almost 3 years later and after everything that happened with "Harrison" that I could still get butterflies from "B." It felt like old times. I really missed him. I spent the rest of the weekend umming around my house and vegging out.
My endless mortgage and condo search is still endless. I found quite e few nice places, but I still have not heard from my stock broker as to how much $ I will have to put down.... So, I haven't contacted my mortgage broker yet to see what I can qualify for.
We had a company happy hour last week and the only thing I have to show for it is a new pint glass for my collection. LOL.
KTU doesn't seem to be talking to me. The last time she e-mailed me she said she wasn't comfortable speaking to me just yet, but that I am her best friend still. How is this even possible? I don't even know what is going on in her life and she has no idea what is going on in mine. I don't know how to fix this thing with us and what REALLY pisses me off is that I didn't do anything wrong.
Cowgirl is being moody... I decided to hang with "B" and not rush my day with him on Saturday and not walk with her. So, now I am in the dog house because my whole life doesn't revolve around weight loss, talking about how much I want to/need to lose, talking about how to do it, or yelling at her or getting yelled at by her for eating unhealthy. That just isn't fun to me. Or helpful. Neither is telling me how good I looked 3 years ago. Argh.
I just can't seem to get out of the hole with people.
I am so tired, yet I am restless. I can't seem to get my mind off a buying a place or getting into school. Plus I need a second job in order to afford a mortgage. Too much stress. Other than that, I have nothing else going on and nothing to show for all my hard work. LOL. I'm off like a prom dress. My life is SO boring. 10-4 over and out.

Where Are You From? Here’s a Teabag!

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Friday!
I need to start off this post by giving a VERY Special birthday wish to my Kel-Kel. It was yesterday, but I was unable to get to blogging. (I guess that’s what happens when you work until 7:30PM, then go to the gym for an hour, then your internet is moving at a snails pace when you finally get home.) Enough with the excuses, Happy Birthday, Kel-Kel! I hope you had a great one!!
Not much else is going on in Bethany Land, just been working my arse off since the month began. Work has been crazier than it’s been in months and it seems like my co-worker and I have done nothing but make some errors on our orders (which makes matters even worse). So this whole week has been about accounting issues and meeting deadlines. I can’t wait to get out of here tonight. Most nights this week, I’ve been here until close to 8PM and tonight I am leaving at 5 on the dot. I just hope I can make it until then.
I thought I had so much more to write, but as I sat down to write this, nothing is coming to mind. I guess that’s what happens when your whole life is work. Fun. I’ll keep you posted if anything new and exciting happens or pops up. For now, I’m just glad it’s Friday. 10-4 Over and out.

I Am The Revolution....

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars, happy Monday. So, here we are, another week of work, another dollar to my name. So my weekend didn’t turn out as bad as I thought it would. I thought I would be having a big loser weekend by myself watching some flicks and sleeping (all to the annoyance of Mama Dukes), but that didn’t happen. Mid morning on Friday SVU e-mailed me, “What are you doing tonight, do you have any plans?” I responded back that my a-hole friend bailed out on me and no, I didn’t have plans. As it turned out, she and 2 other girlies from work were heading out for Happy Hour over in Westchester and wanted me to come chill with them. I was not dressed for an outing, but I decided, “Why not?” So, I trekked through the day, rushing to get things done so I could leave at 5. Shortly before we left, “B” e-mailed me and we chatted momentarily and made plans for Saturday night. We headed out and went to this inside/outside bar in Tarrytown. Everyone there was at minimum 55+ years old, so we knew quickly that we would not be meeting men. Poli’s friends showed up and we decided to eat dinner with them there. We had some yummy eats, then headed outside. We decided the place wasn’t really our speed and we headed out to another bar. It was pouring at this point, we raced over, and ran inside. The age range was around the same and this place had a cover charge, so we headed out as quickly as we headed in. We headed over to another bar, only to find it empty as well. We stayed for one drink and the conversation quickly turned to sex toys. We opted to head over to the XXX store in the area and “teach” our buddy SVU what was good about those stores. When we arrived, a salesperson took us around and explained everything to us. We had a blast even thought SVU was so modest she wound up leaving to use the bathroom and not coming back until the rest of us had made our purchases. At this point it was past midnight and we were all turning into pumpkins. We said our goodbyes and were off to home.
Saturday I woke up early and laid in bed all day waiting for a delivery guy to show for Mama Dukes (He never showed). I didn’t hear from “B,” but Kel-Kel called, so I made plans to meet up with her and RyRy later on that night. Our friend Dimar’s band was playing and we figured why not check it out…. I figured if “B” got back to me, he would just come too. We finally connected and he was going to meet us there later on that night if he was feeling up to it. I got dressed and headed over around 10. There were some hotties in the bar, but I kept it cool just in case “B” did pop in. Kel-Kel brought her sister whom I hadn’t seen in years and it was nice (and weird!) so see her as an adult. :) As the band played, we watched her wipe the floor with all the guys on the pool table and I checked out the hotties and the perverts who were watching her, lol. We stayed until around midnight, the band wasn’t what we expected and Dimar was more interested in making out with one of the groupies then chit chatting with us, so we headed out around midnight. We decided to head over to the diner and got some grub. I was home fairly early and although I was tempted to head over to Chubby’s, I went straight home like a good girl.
Sunday Mama Dukes woke me around 8AM. How special for me. Two days in a row she f*d me out of sleep. We walked over to the Street Fair that was being held in my town. We walked around and she bought me a lottery ticket and an Ugly Doll which I LOVE and is now stationed on my desk at work. We looked at some furniture so I could get some ideas of what I would want and not want. When we left the furniture store, we were heading back towards the house, I saw him. The prick police officer that annoyed me in H.S. L.W. If he starred any harder, I would have had holes burned through me. I looked like crap too, but at least the shirt I was wearing was accentuating my breasts that he was so in love with back in the day. I gave him the evil eye and flaunted my Ugly Doll at him as we walked away. When Mama Dukes and I first arrived, I saw my friend who blew me off for Friday night (He didn’t see me.) The funny thing was, he told me he was going away for the whole weekend and that’s why he couldn’t hang. Hmmm, interesting. When we were on our way home, we stopped at this little church sale and there he was, waving at me. “I came home early,” he said. Riiiight. My cynicism comes out when I fell betrayed. It could be true, but who knows? After that, we headed home and I tried to relax.
Here it is Monday and I hate Mondays. I need a REAL vacation and soon.
“Harrison” called me tonight to apologize for the attitude I felt he had Memorial Day weekend. Now I miss him even more. I hate this, I am so crazy about him and it is so unfair that I didn’t get a real chance to show him how great I am :(. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

I am temperamental
Like a heart without a home
I am sentimental
But you don't know me at all

I have expectations
I wanna be the one you call
And I want a conversation
But you don't know me at all

Hold on tight
I am
I'm a revolution
Close your eyes
I am, I am
I'll blow your mind
I am
I'm a revolution
Why do I have to explain
Who I am again and again
I am

I know what you're thinking
I can tell what you're waiting for
But I think that you're pretending
But you dont fool me at all

If you knew me at all
You'd take my picture
And you'd hang it on your wall

Hold on tight
I am
I'm a revolution
Close your eyes

I am, I am
I'll blow your mind
I am
I'm a revolution
Why do I have to explain
Who I am again and again
I am

I didn't know that you've been wanting me
Oh how's a girl supposed to know
Just when you think that it's all tragedy
Dont worry baby I'll go slow

Hold on tight
I am
I'm a revolution
Close your eyes
I am, I am
I'll blow your mind
I am
Im a revolution
Why do I have to explain
(Why do I have to explain)
Who I am again and again

Hold on tight
I am
I'm a revolution
Close your eyes
I am, I am
I'll blow your mind
I am
I'm a revolution
Why do I have to explain
Who I am again and again
I am

The Fit is Go....

G’morning Kids & Porn Stars…. TGIF. It is sticky, humid and disgusting in my office today. Last night’s rain storm was fairly awesome to watch even though it left this nasty weather behind it (and my Sirius radio fails me when it’s rainy outside!!) I worked late last night and was driving home right at the beginning of the storm. All I could think was, “I wish I was watching this with…..” (He who shall remain nameless until we see one another again.) It was weird. For the longest time, I didn’t “think” about him in any way other than my friend. We talked, and now there is this spark that has been reignited. I am afraid that it is coming out of loneliness, so I am hesitant to act on anything I am thinking or feeling. Plus I don’t want to jump back into anything just yet either. Not to mention that there hasn’t been 100% closure with other factors in my life just yet.
My friend bailed out on me (already) tonight for drinking. I am starting to think that I will never get drunk again. And we all know how grateful I am for Vodka, Twisted Tea, and wine. I haven’t drank in what feels like forever and Maggie Sue can’t help since she is now with child! :) I am starting to miss The Bunny. She was always up for drinks and/or happy hour.
I know life is filled with ups and downs and this feels like part of the down cycle for me. I no longer have “Harrison” as a friend. I haven’t spoken to “B” in a week. DP is always too busy at work to even e-mail. Cowgirl NEVER goes out. My work friends are just that, work friends. KTU is not speaking to me (Or is oddly all of a sudden not receiving any of my e-mails or text messages). As I was leaving for work today Mama Dukes said to me, “Have you heard from KTU?” I answered, “No, not really.” Then she said, “Well, I guess now you know. She’ll learn her lessons on her own. She is probably in denial about some things still.” That doesn’t make it hurt any less or make me feel any better. Or make me regret my honesty any less. I’ve decided it’s better to just keep things to myself from now on because either way you get screwed and had I held on to my secret nothing would have happened. I know damn well the third person involved wouldn’t have opened his mouth and it could have been something I took to the grave. And she wouldn't have been hurt as badly as she was.... I feel like everything is my fault.
On the upswing, I have looked into mortgages for a condo I am interested in. Can I afford it? Probably not, but if I don’t move now I may never have the chance again. Of course, the only condo’s I can afford are in a different county from where I am living and it would mean a completely different lifestyle/routine. It would mean a longer commute to work, a farther drive to Mama Dukes (might be pleasant!) and AK, a farther drive to my doctors, most of my friends, my favorite bars, the list can go on and on. However, it could mean a nice change. I have family up there. I already have some good friends up there :). I would OWN my own place. However, once I went on this website where banks “compete” for your business, my cell phone HAS NOT stopped ringing with people trying to sell me a mortgage. I don’t even have an exact place in mind, I haven’t contacted my realtor yet, and I don’t know what kind of down payment I will have (I’m waiting to hear back from my finance guy). I was just looking to see if I would even get approved. I should have given them the wrong #, LOL. So, I will keep you all posted on the final outcome of my first home purchase (if it happens).
So here it is, the weekend, I have zero plans other than working out and I am feeling a bit loserly about it. It’s so weird how one weekend you have too many plans and then you go without for a while. So, I’ve rented some good flicks through my blockbuster online account and I might just take this as another relaxing weekend.
I’ve started researching new cars since my lease will be up in about 6 or so months. It seems like I just got this car…. Although the filth that has taken over the inside and the dent on the outside tell me otherwise. (My car is my Monica closet, so back off, LOL). I am really kind of liking the new Honda Fit. It's affordable, it's roomy, and it appears to have radio controls on the sterring wheel which is my new thing that I MUST have in my next car (because I have it now...) It's kind a cute little car and I am liking the light blue color. Hmmmm.
I guess I should get to work since I have a ridiculous amount of if piling up on my desk. This is Fats McD signing off. 10-4 over and out.