Annoyed.....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars....

It's Wing Night tonight. Woo-hoo.

I’m annoyed for several reasons:
1) I was working last night (and it was actually a little busy!) and I missed my Stalkers phone call. I love the heavy breathing, keep it up! :)
2) I’m not sleeping well. I don’t know why, but I’m not.
3) Working two jobs. It’s well worth the money, but it’s flying out of my hands as soon as I make it, it seems.
4) I am once again forced into drama. The Bunny’s “ex” of (seriously) about 3 weeks – Private Pyle – is upset that she has dumped him. For some reason or another, he’s gotten it into his head that it’s because of me because I am “miserable in my relationship with DB and jealous of their happiness.” Happiness? You NEVER saw each other. She was happier spooning with me! LOL. He then decided to call me a c**t the other night. Whether she used me as an excuse or not (I wouldn’t care – just tell me – so I don’t feel as though I’ve been thrown under a bus), I don’t know. At first, I was pissed about him using the C word against me. Then I looked at the source and realized, “Why should I care, he really is a pathetic loser?” However, now I feel as though it’s becoming an “issue” between The Bunny and myself and now there is a lot of crap floating around the firehouse about her and I. DB is pissed that I am being dragged into the middle and blaming it all on her (making the situation between the two of them worse…) And then there is the past between The Bunny and I that is always in the back of my mind…. That fear that she is always looking for a better friendship than what we have, how she always seems so eager to believe the crap people talk about me, and how she is usually very quick to choose another friendship over the one her and I have. I have so many other things to be stressing about – I shouldn’t have to stress over friendships and relationships. I really feel as though I shouldn’t ever have to worry about whether or not my friend is going to “break up” with me. And even though I’ve survived it before and she assures me that we will always be friends now, paranoia creeps in. Doogie told me the other night, “Don’t stress it. Drop ‘em all.” LOL. He makes it seem so easy. LOL. ;) Too bad I actually have feelings and care about my relationship with DB and friendship with The Bunny, LOL.
5) The confusion I have right now in my head about a certain situation. The mixed signals are driving me nuts!
6) The fact that I am tired ALL the time and I think it’s all the hours I am putting into work. I actually feel too exhausted to do anything on my days off (i.e. – go to the gym).
7) The fact that I feel trapped in my current job. I feel like I’m one of those girls in the movie The Silence of the Lambs and I am trying to claw my way out of the well of death. “Put the f***ing lotion in the basket!”
8) My jaw hurts. I seriously need to get back to the Dr. – now I have a list of “ailments.”

I am SURE there is plenty more to be annoyed with. I’m also sure that everyone else has his or her annoyances in life. I just needed to vent a little bit. On a lighter note, Doogie and I went to the movies on Sunday night and I finally saw The Departed. Holy crap that was a GOOD friggin movie!!! The company wasn’t too shabby either :) I had a good time, Doogs!

This weekend is a little crazy, or so it seems. I thought I would have plans Friday night, but they fell through. Saturday night I am hoping to do dinner with DB. However I will, of course, not know until last minute. Sunday is DP’s super bowl party (I’ve got some dinero riding on this game!), but Mama Dukes needs me to take a road trip with her to Boston, so I may need to bail on the party :(.

I’m off now – need to meet my numbers before months end (T-Minus 5 hours). I need to be out of here at 5 on the dot since I have to work Wing Night tonight. Fabulous. 10-4 over and out.

Happy 3-0, Midge!!!

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars... OK, OK, so I am a day late and a dollar short, but I needed to publicly wish my Midge a very Happy Birthday. We are celebrating the BIG 3-0 in style tonight and I can't wait to see her. :) Although, I'm a little mad she didn't give ANY hints as to birthday gifts! :) But, I think I will come through for her, LOL.

This weekend is jammed packed with events. Tonight is Midge's get together, then off for some drinkies. I promised DB I'd come by and watch him play for a bit in the 'Burg. Tomorrow night he's playing over by The Bunny's house and I am supposed to chill with Doogie. Also tomorrow is Mama Dukes best friends ("G") birthday, so we are taking her for some eats. I think I may need to work from home for a bit tomorrow as well. I need to make up some time since I took a sick day yesterday - oops! :)

On a funny note, I have a prank calling heavy breather. Whoever it is, insists on calling me from a restricted # between the hours of 6-8. It's usually about 3-4 times a night and it's quite amusing. Keep calling! LOL :P.

Back to work - Seacrest, OUT! 10-4 over and.......

"Annual" Exam.... Argh

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... I hate being a woman for two reasons and two reasons only:
Getting my period
Getting my "annual exam."

I've had the same "girly" doctor since I was 18, but have since decided to switch since he is getting pretty old (he delivered me 29 years ago), he's located pretty far (down in Western NJ), and he has very odd hours. It has been a NIGHTMARE trying to find a new doctor - preferably a female doctor because I don't want some old geezer or some young hottie poking around in there with long, cold, sterile tools. I tried this place by my house, I waited 3 months for an appointment! Day of, I could not go (female reasons, LOL). They never answered their phone that day when I cancelled (It took me a week to book the actual appointment since they don't answer....) and they never responded to my voicemail messages to reschedule my appointment. This didn't fair well with me. So I started on the hunt for another new doctor. I'm a little sketchy to use Maggie's Dr., I was told that The Bunny's Dr. is VERY hard to get an appointment with, so Kel-Kel came through with a new place close to my house. So now I am all set for an appointment in APRIL. Who knew it would take this long and be this hard to make an appointment that literally lasts 5-10 minutes? Ridiculous! LOL.

End of rant. 10-4 over and out.

I'm a Dude, With Tits?

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Tuesday (and happy beginning of the rough part of my work week). I now have a semi "set" schedule at 32 (fabulous). I am Tues. Night, Wed. Night (after WW for Wing Night - woot!) and Thurs. night. I go there right from my F/T job. It's been tough, but I am getting into the swing of it. I am getting some $ in the bank, I'm able to help out Mama Dukes a little more, and I don't cringe when I need to buy something.

So many things have gone on the past few weeks... First and foremost, Doogie is back! I was pleasantly surprised two weeks ago on my first Wing Night when he stepped in to visit. It was an awesome surprise :)

The Bunny's cousin-in-law (is that real? lol) passed away. So last week we had the wake and funeral. It was 3 sad days, but I did my best to help her through it. In true Irish style after the funeral, we celebrated her life rather than mourned her passing. So there was a HUGE drinkfest at the firehouse, tons of food, and a whole lotta Durkins. LOL. By the end of the day, I had become a surrogate daughter to The Bunny's parents and all her aunts and uncles and Grandma are all mine as well. LOL.

Other than working, hanging with The Bunny, hanging with DB, working at 32, trying to make time for other friends, Mama Dukes, and the pooches not much else is going on. I'm always busy, but my life seems rather boring right now, LOL.

I'll keep you all posted if anything good happens. Here is what I am looking forward to:
- Midge turning the big 3-0 this week and us partying on Friday night (Woo-hoo!)
- Getting The Bunny turned on to men in uniform (and this new guy working out).
- My trip to AZ to see Car & Winkie with Kel-Kel, Bunches, and The Bunny.
- Finding a school to accept me and going back..... (Fingers crossed!)
- Spending some time catching up with Doogals
- Meeting Sydney :) (Hint, hint)
- Valentine's Day with DB ;)
- Working St. Patty's Day and making TONS OF MONEY!!!

I am sure I am looking forward to more, but the e-mails are ROLLING in and I need to get some work done before I leave right at 5 on the dot. :) 10-4 over and out.

It's Finally Mine.......

I LOVE gagdets! Eat it, kids! LOL. :) I love being spoiled by Mama Dukes!!!

I Know I've Been MIA.......

This second job may kill me.

I'm so tired and my F/T job is crazy busy too. Then I try to see DB as much as we can. Sorry Kids - I miss everyone! Hopefully things will get back to normal soon. I'm sssooo going to get mono again. LOL.

xoxoxoxoxo,
Bethany

Happy New Year....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Tuesday, Happy New Year, Happy Four Day work week :). Things in my life.... Have changed. And it's only the 2nd. Where to begin?

Let me flashback to last week (if I leave things out, I’m sorry – my brain isn’t what it was 3 weeks ago):

Sunday – Christmas Eve. Drugged myself pretty good and then went to 32 with Kippy to visit The Bunny. Lee (the manager) is going through the same thing as me and hugged me several times and talked me through it. I wanted to get wasted, but something in my heart told me not to turn to that. It wasn’t right. We had planned on going to look at Christmas lights, but wound up staying at 32 the entire night. Earlier on, I asked The Bunny to stay the night with me. I couldn’t bear waking up alone :( She agreed. We all exchanged gifts and I got some rockin’ good gifts from my buddies. Kippy was acting kind of quiet and not acting like himself, so we kind of felt put out. We tried and tried to get him to smile and have a good time, but to no avail. The Bunny refused to let it ruin her night though and kept the party going. Maybe a little too much, lol. ;) Into the wee hours (actually, it was like 11:30), we took Kippy home and then went back to my house. The Bunny was hammered. It was funny and fun to watch, until Hot Rod upset it her and then the rest of the night was ruined because they kept fighting with one another. I finally passed out and woke up the next morning to a snoring Bunny. LOL.

Monday – Christmas was weird. It was just myself and Mama Dukes (after The Bunny left) this year and neither of us really had “the spirit.” We exchanged gifts and Mama Dukes rocked out with her gift giving this year. I don’t know if it was guilt, or what, but she kicked arse with her gifties to me. Weird, but I think this break up with DB brought us closer together. <3 We had some Turkey din-din, visited her BFF, and then went home and passed out. I had to be back to work on Tuesday AM (argh!)

Tuesday - The meds my doctor prescribed to help me “get over the hump” of my break up with DB helped, but they only kept me from crying. I was still “feeling” and I wanted that to stop. ASAP. I called out to the p/t job (32) because I had some kind of Bronchitis type of cold/flu/cough. I felt like I was dying. Then my Kel-Kel called and wanted to get me out of the house. (I love how everyone rallied to support me in my time of need. It was really awesome. I felt so alone and they made that feeling disappear. Thanks again everyone….) Kel-Kel took me out for “break up / comfort food.” AKA mozzarella sticks. We drove around and talked. She let me cry it out. We looked at the Elvis Christmas lights in NJ. It felt good to get it all out and hear her feedback. I was actually starting to feel better. After she dropped me off, I went inside and talked to Mama Dukes and then checked my e-mail. And there it was. And e-mail from DB. My heart pounded and I started to shake and sweat. I had been dying to hear from him for what seemed like and eternity and now here it was – the dreaded e-mail…. 1 day after Christmas. I wanted to read it so badly, but part of me didn’t. I clicked on it and it wasn’t pretty. I broke down and reverted back to the morning of the break up. It felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was hysterical and a HUGE mess. I called him and told him he could come and get his things, but I needed to know why. I needed closure. I called Kel-Kel who offered to drive back to my house (too sweet). I called The Bunny who was already on her way to Suffern. She stopped by my place first. I cried and sniffled and cried. I finally took a Valium and went to sleep. 11:30PM comes – I am passed out – and he calls. I checked my phone every second of every day when he wasn’t calling. And now there was his ring. My heart actually stopped. Mama Dukes ran to my room, “is it him??” I nodded yes. I answered. She closed my door and he and I talked for over and hour. Turns out, he was driving to my house and was outside for a small time. He wanted his things back. Then he wanted to come in to talk more. When he came in, I could see the love back in his eyes. He missed me. He saw what a mess I had become. We talked. We hugged. I cried. We talked about the possibility of getting back together. He left late and I fell fast asleep and finally slept well.

After than, we talked and e-mailed. I was so sick, I wound up leaving work early on Thursday and coming home sick on Friday. The Bunny filled in for me at 32 on Thursday night, I felt like I was dying.

Friday - DB stopped by Friday afternoon and we talked some more and got everything out in the open. It felt good to talk to him and even better to see him. I missed him so much. The break up really opened my eyes to what I want and don’t want and to how I really felt about “B.” The Bunny was coming over after work, so I told him to come by after his gig if he wanted to. When she arrived, we chilled and talked. I felt good again….. Whole if you will. We decided to head over to his gig (even though I was dying). It turned out to be a really great night. We headed out to Rhodes at 10-ish and DB was looking hot as he was playing. I made nice with his buddy FB. The Bunny got a little tipsy and made nice with a few people, LOL. She wound up meeting a REALLY nice guy – Gigs. The night went slow and fast all at once. It felt good to watch DB play and to feel at ease with him. Around 2:30, DB and I headed back to my house and I felt safe knowing that The Bunny was getting a ride home from either Gigs or Durkin. DB and I talked and really finally realized that we don’t want to live without one another. The Bunny came home at 8AM and woke me. We talked for a bit and she told me all about Gigs, then we passed back out.

Saturday – Cowgirl called in the AM. I hit the ignore button on the cell (sorry girl, but it was a friggin late night). Then she called the house. Then the cell again – I knew something was up because she would have just left a VM. She had a flat tire and needed my help with Triple AAA. So I got The Bunny out of bed and we headed down to NJ to help her out. A few hours later, we were finally getting some breakfast into our bellies and then ran all our errands. By the time we got back to my place, we wanted nothing to do with going anywhere. We showered (separately Animals) and went back to bed to watch movies. DB stopped by before work and then The Bunny and I were off to dream land.

Sunday – Woke up early and then we went back to sleep. LOL. We knew we had to get some errands done though. I died The Bunny’s hair (it looks healthier, shinier, but kind of the same color. LOL). We shopped for the evening shin-dig. We still didn’t have a final count. Both of us knew in our guts that the night would bring drama, we just weren’t sure how much. DB stopped by briefly and Mama Dukes headed out to her work party as we prepared for the night. A few minutes to 9, Kippy showed up. Already there was tension in the air. Shortly after, Gigs showed up. We all started drinking and playing some different board games I had. Things were going smoothly besides the tension. Tempers flared shortly after the ball dropped and Gigs and Kippy got into it. The Bunny fessed up to dating Gigs and Kippy was heartbroken. Mama Dukes came home and said it was time for the party to be over, so Kippy headed home. DB showed up and we all wound up talking in the kitchen. Mama Dukes and DB made their peace and so did The Bunny and DB. It was all a lot of drama for Gigs to handle for a first night out, but he handled it well.

The New Year has brought about a lot of good changes. And it has a promise of good things to come. I feel good, I'm happy, I'm in love, Doogie is home, Maggie Sue had a baby, The Bunny is back in my life, Cowgirl and I are closer than ever, Kel-Kel is once again like a sister.... Things feel good. I wish everyone a great New Year and all the joys and promises 2007 should bring. Bethany is back.... 10-4 over and out.