Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Happy Birthday, Flirt!!! (Fellow Scorpio)

It's The Flirts birthday today. Drop by his site and give him some best wishes on his day. Maybe stay for a while and read his site. It's good stuff. ;)

Do You Know What Happens....

.....When you have some kind of insecurity and you discuss it with your girlfriends (who have the same insecurities?) It makes it worse. LOL. I sat and analyzed the ENTIRE night with DB with 2-3 of my girlfriends and although they were supportive and gave good "outside of the box" advice, it didn't stop me from completely overanalyzing the entire evening. Long story short, we were both two very cranky people who had a bad night. No more overanalyzing. It reeks havoc on my sleep pattern and my belly (who decided to hurt and gurgle when I'm upset). I need to take things for what they are and start worrying when someone tells me there is something to worry about. :) We both acknowledged our crankiness from the prior night and got past it just as easy as anything else in our relationship. I heart the Drummer Boy. :)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

He E-mailed Me.......

DB e-mailed me. I guess I feel better, but I'm not sure. He said he woke up close to 1PM and cleaned his gutters and got his oil changed... I am assuming he didn't meet me for lunch because he felt there wasn't enough time. I don't know. Why didn't he answer his cell when I called though? Or call me and say plans were canceled? Hmmmm. I really need to stop thinking about this because I'll just drive myself nuts thinking about the if's/and's/why's....... Why don't people come with instruction manuals?? LOL.

10-4 over and out.

Frustrated......

G'Afternoon Kids & Porn Stars.... I need to vent. I want to start off this post by saying I am not mad at DB, I am just frustrated and I need to vent here. (I am sure this will cause a problem later). So yesterday he went to see and old girlfriend. I don't have a problem with him seeing her, it's more the fact that she doesn't know about me and I am a jealous person (at times). I mean, I know he wouldn't do anything with her, so maybe I am just being selfish because I would rather him come see me. Anyway, I'm getting off track here. So he goes and spends however long with her - fine - then calls me afterwards at work. We chat for a bit and then he tells me he will be in the area of my house that night, but he is going out with his friend (we'll call him Fat Bastard... I don't like him. I think I posted about him previously, but I can't remember.) So I say, "You're going to go out with FB and then not see me until after 10PM again?" (I assumed he would be picking up his son at 9PM which is his usual routine.) This annoys me because we were up late the night before and I was extremely tired and really didn't want to wait up again. I mean, I'd do it - I'll always do it if it means I get to see him, but it just annoyed me that he had this free time and would rather see FB and drink then come by me. Or come by me first and see FB later on in the night. I let it drop and that was the end of it. Before we hung up, I said (as cute as I could), "I'm mad at you though."

With my eyes practically closed, The Bunny picked me up to go get some eats. I could barely walk by the time I got home I was so tired (see previous posts that I have CFS and when I'm tired, I need to sleep...) So, I get home around 9 ish, maybe earlier (it took FOREVER to get to the place we wanted to eat). I get into my jammies and relax for a minute and then I call DB thinking I would get his VM and leave a cute message. He answered. WTF? I say, "Why are you answering?" He says, "I didn't have to pick him up. I am going to stay out with FB for another drink or two and then I will come by, OK?" I say OK and then we hang up. I get into the shower and climb into bed.

10:30 rolls around and he calls me, "Is it OK if I still come by?" It was weird because at 10:12 I said to myself, "He has until 10:30 and then I am shutting the phone off." I say yes and we hang up. Moments later, he arrives and he is cranky. I am cranky. We get snippy with each other. He tells me how he had 7 or so beers and a few shots. Just last week he said I was an alcoholic. This bothers me and makes me crankier. Then he tells me about his lunch and how he still didn't tell her about me because it didn't come up. Which brings me in a flash back to "B" and his comments of, "Well she didn't ask if I had a girlfriend, so I didn't tell her." Argh. I don't want to hold him against DB, but it was the first thing that came to mind. The I tell him I was upset he chose to stay out and drink more then come see me - he gets mad because he "does everything he possibly can to see me as much as possible" - and says how I am trying to control who he is friends with. WTF? Because I am a little selfish and wanted to get to bed at a decent hour, now I am controlling him? I know his comments came out of anger and maybe a little guilt, but it just escalated into something worse. He tells me how FB wants to (basically) kiss and make up with me, but I really feel like he a sneaky fuck and I have a really bad feeling about him and just don't want to have anything to do with him - I think DB is holding this against me. He makes a comment about a show I am watching, "Isn't she dating that guys friend? Why would the friend try to get with her and hit on her?" I say, "I don't know, ask FB, he does it." He looks at me and says, "He DIDN'T hit on you." Ok, that so wasn't what I was talking about, but how the hell does he know what went on - because FB says so? So my word is nothing. ARGH! I feel like I can never express any kind of dissatisfaction/sadness/anger without being made to feel like a fool. I tried very hard not to accuse him of anything or be a bitch about it, I just wanted to get my point across. During all of this, he was falling asleep here and there. So, not only did I not see him for lunch or dinner or before 10:30, now he was going to fall asleep on me? Then he comments how he watches me sleep all the time. Um..... Yea. I work 9-5 and then wait up all night for him to come by and have to do the whole routine over again the next day. I'm going to fall asleep from time to time. I told him about my reservation nightmare for Saturday night and I pouted. I REALLY wanted the Melting Pot and got stuck with Mt. Fuji. I looked at him and pouted. His response? "Pouting isn't going to change it." Um, OK. How about a little support? Like.... "It sucks, but everyone will have a good time, don't worry." Or how about, "We'll go sometime together and make up for it." Something.... Instead of making me feel worse. He wound up getting up and going to leave after going through my bedroom door and knocking over the dog gate waking my mother. I really didn't want her to know what was going on (don't need her input). So after he went to leave, we talked and then he said, "I hate when you do this. I get ready to leave and you get me to stay." He also said, "I feel like you don't appreciate all I go through to see you sometimes." Excuse me? What about what I go through to see him? It isn't all one sided here. I risked my relationship with my mom and KTU just to be able to date him and now I get this?? Is it wrong that I hate going to bed angry or sad? Plus, the one time "B" and I really had it out, he looked me dead in the face (much like DB did last night) and said, "I'm not angry with you, I just want to sleep in my own bed. We're fine. Everything is fine. We'll talk tomorrow." Then he proceeded to dump me the next day. It's wrong to hold this stuff against DB, but it lingers in my mind and I can't help it. So he comes back into my room and we lay down and chat for a little bit about nothing really and then the next thing I know, he's kissing me goodbye and leaving. I haven't heard from him since which leads me to believe that this "fight" isn't quite over. I am hoping I haven't heard from him because he's sleeping because he stayed at my place late, but I don't know.

OK, so maybe I am selfish in wanting to see him and want my sleep too. And maybe my anger for FB may have clouded my "vision." But I just want to see him as much as I can...... Without being so exhausted I can't even eat. Is this wrong? I try so hard not to say things I will regret when we "fight," but sometimes he says things that are so hurtful and my mom is upset by that because you should, "never make a dig at someone just because you're mad. When you're fighting, it's just a disagreement, you don't hate one another." I mean he doesn't make nasty digs it's more things he knows will bother me (i.e. "At least I remember everything after a night of drinking.") I don't know, I guess I am just sad that we seem to be fighting so much lately and I don't know what to do to correct it. Stop voicing my opinions? Stop talking completely? Act like I just don't give a crap? I don't know. I guess I'll feel better once I hear from him. I really do love him and spending time with him - even if we are fighting, but I can't stand having this pit in my stomach every other day either. Part of me thinks maybe I cause the fights so I can chase him away before he leaves me. But I really don't think all the "fights" are completely me trying to argue.

On top of all this, my mother and aunt are arguing. It's gotten so bad that Mama Dukes actually canceled our trip to Disney in March. Fabulous. I so DO NOT want to get caught in the middle of this. I am praying that The Bunny's cousin comes through with a job for me so I can move out sooner than expected. Even if I have to rent.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I'm Bringing Sexy Back....... YEA!

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Monday (5 days until vacation for me!! Yea!!!) So.... The weekend... Friday was filled with everyone telling me to #1, find a new doctor and #2 Not listen to his scare tactics. I made a follow up appointment with a different doctor, so we'll see. I decided not to let it ruin my entire night.

The Bunny came by my place around 7:30 Friday night as we had planned on getting some dinner and maybe a movie. We headed over to Friday's for some eats and DB called. All was well with us again. I guess I got a little crazy over something he said and he wasn't even really mad at me after all that. It's weird though, the more silly miscommunication we have, the closer is brings us. So I am not sure if these "fights" are really a bad thing or not. The Bunny and I finished up dinner and did a drive by or two (LOL). We had to get some fuel and we killed time just talking and catching up. It's nice to have her back. I'm still scared though. I don't want to go through getting close to her again and having some dumb f**k ruin it. I like having her in my life and I hate it when we don't talk. It's weird with her though, the minute we start talking and hanging out again, it's like no time has passed and we just get back into the groove. After we did our drive by's and what not, we headed over to Casa to see DB's band play. I was very proud of The Bunny (and myself). She had 1 1/2 beers and I had about 1 drink. We both had a fun and sober evening. Around 1 AM we headed home as we were both tired and needed some relaxation. :) DB came by after his gig was over and we hung out until around 5:30 AM. I swear, the more I see him, I grow more and more in love with him. He poked fun of my momentary mental lapse the evening before. I poked fun of him. We watched some Howard T.V. and we cuddled. He is just too cute.

Saturday - Woke up early because the pups decided they needed to go pee at 8AM. How lucky for me. I napped for a little while after I walked them and then it was time to get up and get myself to Kel-Kel's house for Maggie Sue's baby shower. Mama Duke was awake bright and early making baked ziti for me for the party (and it was yummy if I say so!) I "wrapped" the gifts I bought (i.e. - I put them in a nice gift bag with pretty pink tissue paper) and was off. I can't believe how much stuff she got (almost all pink too, LOL!) People were so very generous and I think she was pleased with all her goodies :) I (yea!) won the Baby Shower Bingo and came home with some lovely trinkets. :) I am liking all this Bridal and Baby Showers. LOL. After we helped Maggie pack her car, everyone left except for AJ, ERS and myself, but I had promised The Bunny a night at the movies, so I was off for home. I think Kel-Kel was relieved it was over, she worked her little fingers to the bone planning the Shower that she needed some relaxation time. I think she got it :)
When I got home The Bunny and I made our plans and PPPE was working, but decided to come meet us for a hour or so on his lunch break. So we decided to get some eats, go to the movies and then meet up with him after midnight. Shortly after The Bunny picked me up, he let us know he called in sick. Plans changed immediately. We ate a quick, small din-din and then headed to his place to pick him up. It was a little awkward at first - even though this wasn't technically a blind date. We headed to PR (it blew) and then back to our town to my old favorite place, Ireland's. We wound up chilling there until about 1:30. I wanted to go see my man, so I annoyed the hell out of them until The Bunny agreed to take me home. I was tired, I wanted to see DB and I wanted PPPE and her to have some "alone time" to get to know one another any way. It worked ;) I got to see the boy on duty (Sweet!) and then I was home fairly early. I heart DB.

Sunday - I slept in (yea) and then Mama Dukes and I did a little shoppy shopping. (Mama Dukes paid, can't beat that!) Afterwards I got everything done around the house that I needed.... Then my boy came over. We spent a few hours just enjoying one another's company. :)

Today was spent messaging and chatting with The Bunny, harassing PPPE via text and trying to get some work done. I attempted to make reservations for my birthday dinner this Saturday night and the place I had my heart set on was BOOKED SOLID! I am so sad about it. :( I called several other places, but no restaurants wanted a reservation of 20 on a Saturday night. Not even the Olive Garden? When did they become snobby? I was quite annoyed, but I finally found a Mt. Fuji in NJ that was willing to take my reservation. After about 30 minutes of getting the woman to understand me, my reservation was finally made. Then the manager called me back to as if I was really coming with 20 people. LOL. No one better back out! LOL. Do these restaurants not realize the money they will be losing out on??
Anyway, I am getting ready for the boy to come by and I just got home from yet an other dinner with The Bunny. I need to go prepare for DB's arrival now and maybe start getting my goodie bags together for my birthday. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

Friday, November 10, 2006

I Feel a Little Better.....

Maggie Sue reassured me that Doctor's like to scare people and that mine is an asshole :) I feel a little better now. Thanks Magz. <3

Not Funny.....

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars... Not only did I get a second night of crappy sleep, but I got some bad news today. I haven't been sleeping well because I wasn't feeling 100%. Turns out, I have a UTI. So I ran to the Dr. on my lunch hour today to get a presciption. I also didn't sleep well because DB and I had a "misunderstanding" last night. Misunderstanding was, I am not allowed to be upset if he says something I think is hurtful. Enough about that - at this point, that's the last thing on my mind. (Not to belittle my relationship with DB, but what I was told is just a tad more important right now...)

I get to the Dr. and holding in pee with a UTI is the worst pain EVER. They finally call me in and let me pee (yea!) I pee all over my hand (lovely) and go back to the examining room. I wait and wait. They literally forgot I was there. Finally the Dr. comes in and says, "WOW, yes, it's definitely a Urinary Tract Infection." The lectures me about being sexually active (cause that's where he thinks it came from. Wonderful, the guy now knows I have fantastic sex all the time. LOL.) Then he says this, "There was blood in your urine as well. You'll have to come back in 3 weeks for more testing." I say, "What would you be testing for?" He responds (as he is walking out of the room), "Cancer, but I wouldn't worry. It's probably nothing."

This makes all the little things in life really not matter so much. I'm still scared sh*tless - especially with the crappy insurance plan I have. :( Of course I've tried reaching out to Mama Dukes and DB and neither one of them are around to calm my nerves. :( Guess I'll get back to work (Right, like I can concentrate). 10-4 over and out.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Would it be Wrong....

...if I went and took a nap in the bathroom at work? I got such awful, broken sleep last night (woke up 3 times between 2 - 4) and now I am exhausted.

Do you think anyone would notice I was missing from now until 5? How would I wake up at 5 though? LOL.

Birthday Wish List....

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars... So many people have asked me what I want this year. Honestly? Nothing really. LOL. The only thing I really wanted Mama Dukes picked up for me (new Coach bag) and the matching wallet she will be picking up next month for me (I guess Mama Dukes isn't so bad, LOL). However, since I've been asked, I will give you some ideas :)
1) I love to shop at Target, Macy's and Barnes & Noble
2) I love Massages :)
3) I am desperate need of new shoes. Well, not desperate, but I'd like to buy some. I guess this would fall under Macy's. LOL.
4) I get my nails done regularly - in the Nanuet Mall (Exotic Nails). I love pedicures too, LOL.
5) I used to go to Trade Secret in Nanuet Mall to get my hair cut and highlighted, but they closed. However, there is a Trade Secret in Palisades :)
6) I LOVE Beverly Hills 90210. I've heard that season one is out on DVD. :)
7) I LOVE Mat Kearny and I want his CD.
8) I need a new digital camera. LOL, but I've told this to Mama Dukes as a Christmas idea....
9) A new (Brown) paid of Uggs - Classic Short. :)
10) TMX Elmo

I think this is all I can give you for now. I am not a woman of many "wants" right now. I'm just way too content with having DB, I don't need much else. :) LOL. Actually, I guess my list is pretty long.... However, these are all just desires, right? I don't actually expect them. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Victory in New York....

Hillary Rodham Clinton remains Senator of NY. Victory feels nice. :)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Who, the Redhead?

G’afternoon Kids & Porn Stars…. Happy Tuesday. Happy November. :) I ABSOLUTELY love the Fall season. October – December is just the best time of the year. We have Halloween, my birthday, Turkey Day, Christmas, New Years…. All good times – all time people are happy and sincere. Anywho, this past weekend was once again awesome due to my wonderfully adoring BF, DB. I want to take a quick moment out to say that I love you, baby! Time frame be damned, you are my true love! :)

OK, Friday night I left work and headed over to DP’s place. We haven’t spent any time together alone to catch up, so we decided dinner was a good way to do so. Plus I needed to give her the b-day gift I had gotten her. After the previous weekend of drinking, neither of us wanted to drink again, so we went to an Italian BYOB place and didn’t bring our own. LOL. We had some tasty eats and got all caught up. Afterwards, we headed back to her place and chilled until close to midnight. I was starting to get sleepy, so I headed home (I only know the long way home, so it took a small while to get back to my house. I hate where I live, LOL). During the time I was at DP’s, The Bunny and I were going back and forth with text messages. We have been talking on and off lately about life and what not. She wanted me to stop by her place, but I needed to get home. It was late and I was tried and bleary eyed. DB was working that night, so I could only see him for a short time, but he was able to make a stop by :) He was at my place for a decent amount of time and I looked at him and couldn’t resist. I said, “I need to tell you something.” He looked at me funny – I think he thought I was going to give him some piece of bad news or something. Instead, I said something nice (for once, lol). “I am just so glad I met you.” Then I smiled. I really, really meant it. He then gave me some news I had been waiting to hear since I met him. :) We hugged and he was off. I love, love, love you, baby……. After he left, I drifted off to dream land and dreamt of the wonderful life DB and I are going to have together.

Saturday was spent running errands and emptying out my storage facility (Well, most of the unit, not everything….). I rested afterwards preparing myself to be out late watching DB’s 3rd band perform (this is the first time I was going to see the Love Cats!) The Bunny’s man was away for the weekend and since DB’s band was playing near her house, I told her to stop by (I know, I know. I’m asking for trouble and I am opening the door to be hurt again. Don’t worry, I know what I am doing Kids….) I figured the worse case scenario is we have one fun night out and that would be that. Our e-mails and text messages have been very nice and we had gotten together the Monday night prior for drinks and dinner and things went well. We decided to meet at Rick’s at 9. When I got there it was like a small reunion – everyone (regulars included) saying hello and hugs all around. I sssooo don’t miss that place. I found The Bunny in the mix of the madness and we made out way to end of the bar. I spotted my boy and he came and said hello. Before we knew it, we had seats at the end of the bar, the Owners showed up and bought us a round and the band started. The band was actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be and we wound up having a really great time. The Bunny’s ex (shitbag) showed up and wanted to start a fight with me. No clue why, so when The Bunny mentioned how he wanted to tell me to go F myself, I figured I would pave the way for him. So, being me, I tapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Hey Stemps, I own a vibrator. I F myself every night.” LOL. What a loser. They’ve been broken up for years, this guy really needs to let sh** go already. The night carries on and we have a good time. Before I know it, it’s time to go. DB was worried about The Bunny driving home – we tried to get her keys, but she seemed OK to drive. We decided to follow her to her place. We missed the light and she headed on ahead of us. The next thing I know, she’s calling my cell, she was in an accident. The rest of the evening went by very fast and we did our best to help The Bunny out of a bad situation. I sobered up damn quick and I felt like her mom. She scared the crap out of me, I was just so glad she wasn’t hurt. Things surrounding the accident got f’d up, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

I spent Sunday resting and helping Mama Dukes out around the house since she is STILL sick. (She’s had this weird cold for weeks now). DB fell asleep and wasn’t able to come over, so it was another day to add to the list of days we didn’t see one another since the day we met (I am happy to say I think I can count those days on one hand…)

Since the accident, I’ve spoken to The Bunny every day. Partly to make sure she’s OK and partly because it does feel nice to have her back in my life. After Saturday night, I thought maybe he would be a little scared of me – and of me having The Bunny back in my life, but he was really cool about it. And, I think he sees what I see in her. A scared little girl who just wants to be loved.

Monday AM, DB called to meet me for lunch and we had a nice meal at my favorite little place in P.R. Then last night he came over and we hung out with my mom for a little while and then watched a little Howard T.V. before I passed out. It’s so weird, but he already fits in my life and my family. It was weird to sit and look at pictures while drinking a beer with Mama Dukes, but at the same time it felt right. I hope everything we talked about Friday is real and things go as planned…… I don’t think I have ever been this happy in my life.

So, work. It sucks. It’s busy and I don’t feel I am being compensated for my talents. I was refused my raise – the boss wouldn’t even take it to the higher ups. So, I’ve started seriously looking for something else. Why should I have to work 2 jobs at my age and with my education and experience background? That’s just B.S. I hope something comes through ASAP. Then, of course, the money will magically appear and be offered to me, but at this point, enough is enough.

So, not sure if I mentioned that I tried to “make peace” with Blade at work. Just because we work together…. I figured it was best. This was well over a week ago. She said, “I’m not ready to speak to you, but when I am, we will talk.” Is she kidding me? So, we ignored one another since. Yesterday when I got back from lunch with DB, I ran into her and “the lunch group” and RG actually wanted to wait for a second elevator. Blade was like, “No, this is fine,” and they all jumped in with me. Are they kidding me?? So today I had to walk near Blade’s desk and she waved hello. I assumed there was someone behind me. I walked by again minutes later and she jumps out in front of me and says hello. Weird. People are just plain weird.

Psycho update on The OC. One of the last things she said to me was, “Anything we spoke about in confidence will be kept as such.” I get an e-mail from my co-worker today, “Did you tell The OC about such and such?” Without getting into too much detail, we did talk about it – all speculation. Then the co-worker told me it was a true rumor and I kept my mouth shut about it. Apparently, The OC called her over the weekend and told her I had given her all the details on it. I’m starting to get a little frightened to walk to my car alone at night. She is whacked out! Not to mention I haven’t said a word about the crazy a** sh** she has told me in private. What a psycho!!!!!!

This weekend I am attempting at playing Matchmaker for two good friends. :) I’ll let you all know how it goes……..

OK, I seriously need to get some work done. Peace out bitches. 10-4 over and out.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Someone Took Their Crazy Pill Today....

Ok, seriously, how many times do you need to ask someone to leave you alone before they take the actual f***ing hint to leave you alone?
Latest OC rendition (She forwarded the e-mail she sent to my co-worker - I think I mentioned this earlier) Scroll down as this top e-mail was my latest response (there is only so much crap you can take from someone!!):

-----Original Message-----
From: Bethany
Sent: Thursday, November 02, 2006 11:33 AM
To: 'The OC'
Subject: RE: I emailed RG....see attached


Donna - GO TO HELL! LEAVE ME ALONE! how many more times do I need to ask you to not contact me again?

DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN! Leave me alone! This is over and I NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN. Please delete my e-mail you crazy b*tch!

START HERE
-----Original Message-----
From: The OC [mailto: TheOC@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 02, 2006 11:31 AM
To: Bethany
Subject: I emailed RG....see attached



Your a liar Bethany, RG told me I should check out my facts!!!!! And your telling me I am sick???? Did you make up all that stuff about Rhonda bad mouthing me??? It seems you did.

here is RG's response to my email!!!

From: "RG" Add to
Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To: "The OC"
Subject:
Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 17:42:50 -0500


Got your e-mail today. Not really interested in
going back and forth with you, but before you go off
on someone you should get your facts straight! In any
case, I am deleting you from my e-mail - good luck to
you.

--- "The OC" wrote:

Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 07:17:19 -0800 (PST)
From: "Donna M. OConnor"
Subject: FYI
To: RG@Directmail.com


RG,

Beth told me today that she told you that she told me all the rotten things you said to her and Lisa P about me. I can't accept the fact that you pretended to
be my friend when I was at Walter Karl and even after I left. I was shocked and hurt by the things she told me you said about me. YOu are 2 faced and fake and you
and I are not friends any more. I was only nice to you and your friend and I didn't deserve this.

God Bless you,
The OC

Holy crap - can we say crazy?? This bitch is just unwilling to let this sh*t go. I think, by now, it's obvious I DO NOT want to have any kind of relationship with her. Why can't she take the hint and let it go already!?! Does anyone have an experience with CRAZY?? Help!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Happy Halloween..... On 11/1. :)

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars... Happy Hump Day. Yesterday came and went so fast and it's one of my 4 favorite days of the year (St. Patty's Day, Christmas, my B-Day, and Halloween). I feel so sad that I didn't really do anything to celebrate and I didn't even dress up. :( It's just been a down week. I mean, I don't feel down, I guess I'm just a little sad that people suck. (See below post). I'm not so much sad that I won't be friends with this person anymore (she was treating me like crap), it's more the fact that I was let down by yet another person. People suck. What makes matters worse is that about 6 weeks back, I got into an argument with The OC because she misread an e-mail I sent her and flew off the handle. I responded by telling her to calm down - re-read the e-mail - and stop blaming me for something I didn't do. She responded with a very nasty, very hurtful e-mail that was basically trying to psycho analyze me. I let it go and move on. Over the weekend I sent her a simple e-mail asking her if she would like some books she lent me back. Yesterday I get a response reiterating the same hurtful and nasty comments she had said before. All I wanted to know is if she wanted her damn books back. I tried not to go back at her, but she insisting on e-mailing me not once, not twice, but 3 times. I'd had it. She mentioned how I never apologized and she had. So, I apologized in Bethany fashion:
"Typical OC - over analyze what you read in the e-mail and fly off the handle.
You want an apology? Here's your apology... I'm sorry you are crazy and you are taking your miserable life out on everyone around you. I thought I would be nice and get your books back to you, but you need serious mental help. Keep the Powerpoint book and take care - I will donate your books to the library. I have enough crazy in my life and having one less makes my life A LOT easier.
Maybe you should go back to see a shrink, you have severe abandonment issues and paranoia. You really fooled me."
I was tired of being attacked by her and being accused of doing something I didn't do. I'd had enough. My words were mean, but I just wanted to e-mail attack to end.
Then I started to get sad. Not one, but two of my supposed good friends treated me like crap. I started to wonder if it was me. My mom says I am a psyco magnet. Maybe she's right. The OC responded to this e-mail with the following:
"Wow, who is the psycho here??? Goodbye! Take your own advice and join AA and SAA before you hurt someone seriously!!!!"
Ummmmm, OK. So I drink. So I have sex with my boyfriend. This coming from someone who sells pot and smokes up and is unemployed at the age of 50? When I am going to realize I can't "fix" people or help people who don't want to be helped? I deleted her last e-mail as I just didn't want to go back and forth with her any longer. For me, it was done.
This morning I come in to the SAME exact e-mail in my inbox. She had forwarded it back to me AGAIN. I responded to her because I was annoyed she just couldn't let this drop:
"You felt the need to forward this to me again? God OC, do you EVER give up??Apparently not. Let it go already! You really are SICK!"
She writes back shortly after:
"Yes, I sent it again because I wasn't sure you got it, nope I am not sick, just shocked at how you fooled me and how spiteful and how fake you are."
Is it me or does this pretty much just prove how insane she is? Oh and when we were friends, she used to tell me all the time how she didn't like this one woman we worked with (but pretended to be friends with her.) She e-mails this woman yesterday and tells her I talked about her all the time. Then this woman gets in MY face at work. Am I wrong in thinking OC is a fucking nut job??

On to the good news.... Friday night DB and I celebrated our 2 month anniversary. I can't believe it's only been 2 months (it feels like I've known him my whole life). I maybe (he jury is still out) celebrated a little too hard.... Something I am not comfortable with having done and do not intend to do again. DB wasn't too happy with the fact that I passed out afterwards, so we really had no time alone to celebrate. :( We hung out Saturday and Sunday night though and we are more in love each time we see each other. I know his concern comes from how much he cares for me and it feels good to be loved by someone so special. I know, I know, cold hearted Bethany is turning into a big, friggin' mush. Get used to it, Bethany is in love. :)

10-4 over and out.