Punching Bag No Longer......

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars... A few posts back I mentioned how irritated I was with a certain friend. Well, Friday afternoon I had it. So I decided to e-mail her and tell her that I don't appreciate being treated like a punching bag. The e-mail was concise and to the point and was no where near a "we will never be friends again." Her response? "I am not even going to go back & forth with you on this." Is it me, or does this pretty much tell you that what I'd written must have hit home? Flash forward to Sunday where (and this is so gay) she moved me out of her top 8 friends on MySpace. So I deleted her. I don't intend on being treated like crap by someone like her again. I talked to the Cowgirl about this Friday night and she was like, "Wait.... This person is 41 years old and she's acting like this??" Yes, Kids, can we say grow up already? This morning I popped on there (It's now Monday AM) to check something out for DB and I see her sister has "gotten even" with me and deleted me from her MySpace. Ouch. Score one for blood being thicker than water. LOL. I'm really living my life through MySpace, LOL. I feel so much better knowing that when I go to work today, I won't be yelled at for something I didn't do or listening to her weekend recap about how some other guy (some much younger guy she met through MySpace) treated her like crap. I feel so much better knowing I don't have to feel like crap while I am at work. :) 10-4 over and out.

****Update.....****

I called the vet and they think Mr. Mason might have a Urinary Tract Infection that is common in male cats. They tend to pee where you will find it to let you know something is wrong.

This f***er better be sick. Or I am going to make him sick. Bastard-o.
I'll keep ya'll posted. 10-4 over and out.

Pound Bound

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... So, after so many washings, my comforter shrunk a little. Yesterday I recieved a Bed, Beth & Beyond coupon in the mail. So I decided to go buy a new comforter. It took me an hour to pick out the perfect comforter and to come to terms with spending over $100 on what is basically, a blanket. I finally picked out this beautiful greenish comforter with stripes. It wasn't exactly what I wanted (I wanted blue), but it was nice and it was over a 300 thread count. It was soft and I could see me and DB collapsing and staying warm under this blanket.

I get the comforter home and unwrap it and put it on my bed. DB called, he was on his way over :). I brushed my teeth and headed back into my room. I see Mr. Mason sitting on top of my new comforter. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WHAT....... ARE......... YOU..........??" I run over to the bed. And there is Mr. Mason, standing in a huge puddle of cat urine. ON THE NEW COMFORTER. On my quilt that I NEVER use (but had to because he peed on everything the night before). On my EXPENSIVE ASS sheets. On my mattress pad. Everything is splashed with cat urine. I grab him and proceed to throw him down into the basement. Once again, I had to strip the bed. This time I had NO blanket to sleep with because everything else was being washed. (Eventually Mama Dukes found me a quilt). My new comforter sat on the living room floor the whole night as I bought a King Sized comforter and it doesn't fit in the washing machine....

DB shows up and I am sure got an eyefull of our future together as I yelled at the cat and the dogs... He tried to comfort me, but there really is no comforting when you know your only option is to get rid of your pet. :( Wish me luck on getting through this. :(

10-4 over and out.

Anyone Want a Mangy Cat?

G'morning Kids, Porn Stars and pet owners.... Happy Hump Day. As you may know, I live at home with my mommy, LOL, and with me came 2 dogs and the kitty I adopted with The Bunny when we lived together. This cat has been a thorn in my side since we adopted him. She didn't want him when she left and I felt bad giving him back to the pound as we accepted responsibility for him. Leighbug was cool with cats, so he moved with me to the second apartment. When I moved home, he had to come with me too. He's been a biter since I got him and has always been fairly nasty, but he makes up for it when he's loving (sometimes he is actually really cute!) He peed in the house once when I lived with The Bunny - he marked his territory when my apartment was "infested" with squirrels. Then when I moved in with Leighbug he peed and pooped on her bed. Then one time I caught him peeing on the rug in my old place, but I chocked it up to the fact that his litter box wasn't as clean as he would like it to be.

Fast forward to this last week.... I had the fun of coming home to a smelly bedroom (mmm, my favorite). I assumed it was the dogs as it is time for them to be groomed. Nope. In the back of my mind I knew it wasn't dog pee smell. I searched and searched and found nothing. I changed the litter box. Still smells. I sprayed my whole bed with Febreeze. I could still smell it. I finally gave up and figured maybe he peed on himself and maybe HE smelled. I was attempting to fall asleep with this cat smell in my nostrils. I was uncomfortable so I rolled over onto what is normally DB's spot in the bed and put my foot in a big WET SPOT. And not the GOOD KIND of wet spot. I immediately pull back the covers and see a HUGE FREAKIN wet spot on the bed. I put my nose close. Yup, found the cat pee smell (and yes, it was the cat because the dogs can't get up on the bed.) At this point it's 1 AM. I strip the bed and throw everything in the wash. I yelled at the cat and that was the end of it.

Last night I am folding laundry and hanging in my room with the kitty and the pups. I look over at Mason and he is looking right at me. I see him jump up and start to shake is paw off. HE HAD JUST PISSED AGAIN ON MY BED! I immediately smacked his butt as he flew off the bed and hid underneath. I hadn't put the mattress pad back on since the last time, so the urine went straight down to the F***ing mattress. I kept yelling at him and told my mom to take him to the pound first thing today. Everything is - again - being washed, but this is damn annoying. The bastard is declawed, so I can't put him outside. My mom doesn't want white hair everywhere so he has to stay in my room.... Mason fights with Mama Dukes cat and her cat litter box is in the basement, so I can't put Mason in the basement. I am at my wits end with this cat and I don't know what to do with him.

I read online today that cats pee on your bed when they are mad at you or jealous. The first time he peed it was on DB's side. This time, my bed smelled of his cologne or shampoo/body wash. Is this possible? Is this little prick jealous or mad about something?

He is SO out of the family Christmas card this year. Bastard.

10-4 over and out.

Is It a Kernel of Truth, or Jealousy?

G'Afternoon Kids & Porn Stars.... It's been a while since I really, really bitched about something or was genuinely PO'd. Well, all good things come to those who wait, I guess. People really piss me off. I have this friend who I won't name here. I know she doesn't read this, but still, I will keep her name to myself (if you really need to know her name, drop me a line). This aggravation with her has been a long time coming. I mean, we had a "falling out" once before (see this old post) and she apologized, but I never really fully accepted the apology (I know, this is my issue). One of the first times I ever really went out with her, she said, "I don't really have a lot of good girlfriends." I should have taken that as a hint, but I remembered back to the time when I wasn't surrounded by the great group of girls I have now - and I love all of them :). After that night, we became fairly close and after The OC was canned, I started having lunch with her and her "group." At first it was fun - we all busted on one another while we got to know each other and we became a regular group - having lunch together every day. Here and there, I would get attitude about wanting to go out with others or wanting to work through lunch. Then I the falling out occurred and I was just getting generally tired of having lunch with them. When I tried to "break ties" from eating with them every day, I was welcomed with attitude and, "Why don't you WANT to eat with us??" So, I continued - even though one of the people at lunch irked me (not the person in question - this other woman who had such a high opinion of herself and down talked my friend The OC. I didn't like her talking about my buddy, so I had enough. However, I got through it and continued to eat lunch with them... I digress.) Now, since I started sitting with them at lunch, they (the girlfriend and this guy we eat with) would say things like, "You're a pity invite. We really don't want you eating with us." And I would say, "That's fine by me, just stop coming by my desk every day at 1 to 'pick me up' and we won't have a problem. And please stop e-mailing me all morning to find out if I am 'still coming' to lunch." Then they would laugh and think that their joke was the best thing since sliced bread. After about 2-3 months of this, it's getting REALLY old. Now, when I hang out with this person outside of work, something usually happens that becomes "a story" that gets passed around the office. And every time there is a story, she puts a negative spin on it that puts me in a "bad light" if you will. (i.e. - When we went to the city to see a show and the people behind me were being rude, she told everyone how I "started a huge fight in the middle of a comedy club." This is so far from the truth. Two weekends ago, we went to another comedy club and my co-worker CT came and sat with us (it was to support a fellow co-worker). She starts telling a story about how I accused her of being a brown noser when she first started. I NEVER said that. I told her a certain other person (VSP) said that about her. So I spoke up and she got all defensive. I don't get why she insists on trying to make me look bad. It's frustrating and annoying and I am getting really sick and tired of it. Everyone who knows me, knows I bust balls. ALL THE TIME. This is my schtick - if you will. It always seems as though everyone at the table busts on her. However, I am usually the only one she gets pissy with. Which is (again) aggravating and frustrating. Then last week, I got attitude because I didn't call her or e-mail her when I was home sick. (I need to keep her abreast of my schedule now? What happened to friends calling friends to see if their OK when they don't show up to work??) Meanwhile, the day BEFORE I was sick she was nasty and bitchy to me again. Why would I want to call or e-mail her? Then when I came back to work, she asks me, "Why are you so quiet lately? Is it because you're fighting with DB? That's what I assumed." Why would she assume I am fighting with DB?? And I not the kind of person to take it out on others - why can't she see that I am just sick and tired of being her punching bag?? ARGH!

Then today, she e-mails me (as usual), "Are you coming to lunch today?" I had nothing better to do and it's cold outside, so I said, "Sure, why not?" Sure enough, around 1 she comes by and says, "Are you coming," as she passes my desk. I respond, "Yep," as I realize she is going to the front desk to drop something off. So I wait. And wait. She didn't come back. So I get my wallet and go into the hallway. They are no where to be found. So I figure, "F it, if they can't wait, I'll do something else." So I go to the cafe, get something to eat and head back upstairs. My cell rings. It's her. She leaves a VM, "Uh, why did you go upstairs? We are waiting for you downstairs." Ummmmm, OK. Every time we've eaten together we've always gone down together, all of sudden they disappear and I am supposed to go running around looking for them? So not worth it. And now that I've vented, I am so done with this. And being that all this shit is a culmination of her and her behavior, I think I might be done with her.

Best.Weekend.EVER!

G'afternoon Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Monday! So, I guess I need to learn the art of privacy when it comes to romantic relationships. Some things are best left between two partners and I need to respect DB's privacy and not post every last little detail here.

Let me start off by staying that my last post was because DB found this blog as well as my old one and wasn't happy about my "partying" ways. It was a big to do that turned into being the absolute best thing that could have happened for us. It has definitely brought us closer together and I don't regret any of it. So, for now, I will continue on with my blog and make sure to hold other people's privacy in tact.

Friday night - Rushed home after work to get ready for our night out. He showed up a little late, but with a dozen white roses in hand. He was dressed up and looking quite handsome. He took me to dinner at this quaint, romantic Italian place in Jersey. We enjoyed our appetizer, dinner, and wine. We talked through some things. We fought a little :). We enjoyed one another. After that we left and spent a wonderful evening together talking and really listening to one another.

Saturday - Woke up and went to breakfast together.... It was nice to spend the whole night together and wake up together for the first time. After breakfast, we headed back to my house and chatted with Mama Dukes for a while. It already feels like he is part of the family. We napped together while watching t.v. and then we each needed to get on with our other plans for the day. I headed up to Kel-Kel's for my second Fantasia Party and him to his wedding gig. Kel-Kel and I had some great girl talk before anyone showed up and we set up her place for the party. Our girl Carrie called and we chatted her up for a bit. People started showing up - Erica is having twins!!!!!! and the party was underway. By the end of the night, I was very tired and the sales were not what I had hoped or expected :( I think I am giving up on this whole Fantasia idea. It's more trouble than it's worth.... LOL. It was good to see Erica and AJ though :) Kel-Kel was yawning, so she was lucky no one took her up on her movie night afterwards.... I left and was home early enough to get a nap before DB showed up. He called around 1 AM and woke me.... Then I fell back to sleep and the next thing I knew, he was knocking on my window to wake me. He came in and we fell asleep together - so happy to see each other again. :) He left a few hours later and I HATED to see him go...... :(

Sunday - Woke up around 1:30 to Mama Dukes calling. I had tog et up and get dressed as we were going to meet Hillary Clinton at 4:30 :)! If you live in Jersey, you know that Bob Menendez is running for Senator.... Hillary is a big fan of his and we need to get this country back to being run by a Democrat. I live in NY, but I really wanted to see Hillary speak live. She was an awesome speaker!!! She was very motivating and almost brought me to tears. I was thrilled to hear her ideas and she just got me totally motivated to get out and vote 11/7. Mama Dukes got to shake her hand... Her BFF told her to run for president, but it's looking more and more like Obama with be the Democrat hopeful. I'd still love to see a woman run this country. After the rally, we headed to the diner for some eats and then I headed home to nap. It was a long day, LOL, and DB was going to be coming over. When he got there, we just watched a movie and relaxed.

This was really the best weekend ever. 10-4 over and out.

I Think it's Time to End This Blog......

It seems to be more trouble than it's worth - gives people the wrong impression of me - and it leaves a mark in time of things I've done (Which gives people the wrong impression of me). I am so sick and so frustrated right now. I feel violated, aggravated, annoyed, hurt.... I can't even begin to describe the what I am feeling right now because I am feeling so many different things. I am so hurt and disgusted, I could really just scream.

I think I am going to leave work in 20 minutes and I am finding the nearest bar and getting drunk. Maybe some disgusting toothless guy will hit on me and I will let him take me home with him and violate me all over again. It seems to be what I do, right??? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crappy Day Turned Good....

I hated waking up today because I got zero sleep last night.... I hated coming into work today because I dreaded the e-mail inbox and what would be left on my desk. I hated being me this morning. LOL.

Then I come to work - one of the first people here - and it's quiet. The inbox not too bad with the exception of the 1 or 2 nasty e-mails from the boss. Nothing much on my desk. I'm still angry.

Then it happens. I hear MM's voice. Finally some eye candy around my desk. SWEET. I quickly send an e-mail to CT - "Our BF is here. However, the butt is covered." We both quickly decide we look like crap today and we are annoyed because had we known, we would've done our hair today. LOL. It's cute because he's taken and she's married. Me? I don't know what I am, LOL. Especially since I have not heard from DB. According to PPPE, I am a homewrecker - maybe I should start acting like one and pretend to have computer issues so MM needs to sit by my desk. LOL. I may look tired and crappy, but I still smell good and I'm funny. LOL. Not. Well, at least it's one small thing to brighten my day. 10-4 over and out.

The Great Wall of China....

Yep, that's my emotional wall and it's so back up right now. ARGH! DB frustrates me... He ignored my response e-mail to him this afternoon, then blows off stopping by like he said he would, then doesn't answer his cell phone when I call him. All this because I said I was sad I wouldn't be seing him for 3 days. What a jerk! I left him a bitchy voice mail (in pure Bethany fashion, lol) and now I'm quite miffed. I'm out.

Poop.

I am home sick and I am SSSOOO tired and SSSOOO cranky. Boo, I stink. T.V. isn't even fun today. I think the rain is making me blue. That or the fact that I am supposed to "be confident" in my relationship with DB when I won't be seeing him for 3 days. We couldn't get together last night, tonight he is going into the city with his friend and tomorrow he has to work (and I might have plans...) When I expressed my sadness for not being able to see him, he tells me I need to be more confident in our relationship. WTF? It's not a confidence thing - it's a "I'm sad I'm not going to see you for 3 whole days thing." The absolute longest we've been apart since we met is 2 days. What's next, a whole week :(? (That had better NOT happen because I think that would cause a HUGE problem for us... But, I'm not going to get ahead of myself just yet, LOL). Long story short, I am annoyed he just doesn't get why I am sad and that it's not a "relationship paranoia" thing. Ugh, men are so frustrating. However, I don't answer my phone the other night and he assumes we're breaking up - and I'm the paranoid one? LOL. :) Enough about that - each of our points have been made. We have an awesome night planned for Friday which I am really looking forward to, but again, how am I going to feel Saturday morning? If I miss him this much now when I am not with him - how am I going to feel after a whole night? Why do things effect me so much? Damn I'm cranky today - I should really go back to sleep.

I had dinner with Kel-Kel last night and it was good to see her. She's always been a good listener :) and she often tells me things I need to hear. Plus I think I have a weight loss partner - we could each use one another support. Go us! She's already ahead of the game with exercising - I really need to get my a** back to the gym.... I was hoping to go today. I guess we'll see how I feel later on tonight.

I am hoping my special friend will call me - I think he's been feeling a little blue lately too. Doogs, I miss you.... E-mails aren't enough! I can't wait to see you :) When the heck are you getting home already - geez?!? LOL. Big hugs to you....

I'm off - I think I am going to pop in a DVD and chill. TNT afternoon dramas are just not doing it for me. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

Wasn't Fantasia Supposed to be Fun??

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Bethany is a little annoyed today. Actually, I've been annoyed for a while now, but today put me slightly over the edge. My P/T gig that was supposed to be more fun than work is really starting to grate on my nerves. This was supposed to be a way for me to make extra money for my future house - while still having fun and selling something I believe in and enjoy.

When Midge and I went to the sales rally, we both felt like we were pressured into signing up - even without our "Five Parties" that we "had" to have before signing up. Midge dropped out of the running (lucky girl) and now they are harassing me to get more parties when I've only had one (and 2-3 more to come). I don't like harassing my friends to do this and I feel like I am.... I have gotten (in total) 4 e-mails and about 5 phone calls from my "managers" telling me I need to be "more in contact" with them. I told them from day one - I am not a phone person. Especially when these two bitches like to talk and are trying to be my "friend." I don't want to be friends - this is business. A few days ago, I called to check in and I was told (AND I QUOTE!!!) "We were wondering why you don't return calls that quickly - I mean, you don't have children or grand children - so we were a little surprised." WTF? Who are they to criticize or past judgment on what I do with my free time?? No, I don't have kids, BUT I DO HAVE A F***ing life. So this morning, I e-mailed one of them a question. A yes or no answer was expected back. Instead I get this long lecturing e-mail from her telling me to CALL (yes in CAPS!) them more often - especially after my party this weekend. I am thoroughly annoyed and contemplating my response to them now. I don't want to be nasty, but I have been nice long enough. Time to whip out some Bethany on their a**. ARGH!

10-4 over and out.

Pancakes Anyone? LOL

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... Happy Monday. What a wonderful and terrific weekend it was. I, of course, got to see my DB. After work Friday, I rushed home to get ready for the concert we planned on attending. I knew I wasn't going to have time to talk to Mama Dukes, so I left her a note. We had some things we needed to talk about because things just aren't good at home these days. DB was right on time and we headed out around 6PM. We were both under the impression that the concert was at MSG, but it was at Giants Stadium. We fought some traffic on the way down and stopped for a quick bite to eat. I felt better once I talked things out with him about Mama Dukes. :) Just seeing him made me feel better. When we got to the stadium, we walked like cattle over, bought some drinkies, and settled into our seats. The opening band wasn't my thing, but I have an open minded. :) We sat hand in hand and took everything in... We poked fun of some of our surroundings and I finally got to see what one of his favorites bands was all about. I really can't see him at a Kelly Clarkson concert for me though. LOL. At the end of the show, we ran into this really heavy guy that was seated a few rows behind us. He had poked fun of him in the beginning of the night and thought it would be funny to push me into his "butt up front" as we were leaving. This is what I grabbed:



















I wanted to kill DB, but in the long run, it was pretty funny. After the show, we headed over to the OL and caught a few songs by Chubb Rock and a few drinkies. Then we headed back to my place where I found a "response" from Mama Dukes. He comforted me and we relaxed for as long as time would allow.

Saturday I spent the day recovering from being out so late with The Boy the night before. I relaxed, cleaned, watched some tube and counted down the hours until I would see DB again. Around 8, I headed out to Vin D's Comedy show in Westchester. I was supposed to meet up with Blade, LC, and a few others from work. The bar the show was at was way too small for all the people who came. We could barely hear the show and fights ensued, but anything for a good story, right? LOL. (I didn't pick any fights this time - LOL! Although I did back up my girlies.) As soon as we paid our check, we flew out of there. Just as I was getting into my car, DB called - his gig was done. We decided to meet up at a bar in Congers where his friend's band was playing. It was nice to seem him.... We enjoyed the band and chatted with his best buddy R (who had e-mailed me earlier that day that I was taking up too much of DB's time.... Oooops.) I got to see the infamous "Pancakes" play on his home made guitar and I made a new MySpace friend. :) Around 2 he wanted to head back to my place and R was a little sad to see us go, lol. I fell asleep on my boy and we cuddled for a bit and then he was gone. Match.com boy and GSB both called me while were out. I felt bad that they called, but part of me was feeling like I should take the calls given my situation with DB. I didn't though. And I feel good about my decision.

Sunday I woke up early and took frequent naps. I love not having to work on the weekends... Don't know how long that will last, so I am soaking it up now. I made the mistake of posting the picture I took below of DB and myself on MySpace and he was a little worried and asked me to take it down. In case you all haven't figured it out yet, he has a small situation going on and his privacy is very important to him. I got a little upset by his request and removed all references to him. Then he got mad that I was upset.... Silly. My cell phone wasn't working at around 10:30 ish and he tried calling me - twice - and the calls weren't coming through so he thought I was really pissed at him. LOL. Around 12:30 I got a VM indicator and called him back. He came over shortly after and we talked and hugged and realized that we are both really in love with one another, but things just seem so complicated. I was happy he came by and I am (once again) counting down the minutes until I see him again. We have Friday night planned out - it will be our first night spending the night together.... I am totally excited and I can't wait for Friday to be here. Then again, I am scared as to how I will feel Saturday morning when the night is over. I am so sad when I am not with him. :(

****This just in. I received an e-mail back from "B's" brother.
"It was a softball collision. He is doing better. He'll be fine." That's all I get after 3 years. How nice.

Anywho, I guess I should get some work done. The boss is out of the office and I am helping to hold down the fort. I guess since I am getting paid to be here, I might as well do something (that and the fact that I have a TON of work piling up. Hmmmm, lol).... LOL. 10-4 over and out.

We Are Too Cute...............

Aren't we just THE cutest thing?? This is us at the (my first of more to come, I think) Iron Maiden concert. I heart DB. ;)

I Was Right.....

My theory has always been, what goes up, must come down. Life is a roller coaster, yadda yadda. That's always been my thing when I have a bad day or when a friend is having a bad moment. My roller coaster was flying high for quite some time, but all good things must come to an end. This has been SUCH a crappy week :(. I think it will all gett better tonight when I see DB though. :) I guess my roller coaster hit bottom, but it seems to be going back up.... Just a few more hours until I spend the whole evening adoring my boy. I can't wait to get the heck out of work and get a drink and frolick in Manhattan with DB. LOL.

P.S. - Anyone know of any good apartments in my ara that allow dogs and that are affordable?? With everything going on with the brother, Mama Dukes is really on the last nerve. I need to move. I need my own space. ASAP.

10-4 over and out.

Is This Wrong?

A-hole, AKA my brother "Briberry," has decided to go back into the military - the reserves. Is it wrong that I hope that this jackass avid Bush supporter gets sent overseas? I truly hate his greedy, pathetic ass. It's terrible that I feel this way about my own flesh and blood, but I seriously can't stand him.
He's one of those people who knows what they can say to really get to you and throws it in your face.... He latest e-mail was his favorite rendition of how my father never loved me and how I never had any relationship with him. My brother really is a piece of work. 10-4 over and out.

I'm in it for the Long Run...

DB called me as soon as he woke up this morning. We had lunch together (2 hours, LOL) and things are good with us. I think I can handle this. At least for a little longer. I can't stop loving him because I fear the future. I have to learn to live and love in the here and now. Just seeing him made everything that happened yesterday seem better. I REALLY hate being this vulnerable. LOL. But, I like being in love with DB.

I Want the Fairytale....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars. Yesterday was a bad day all around. My morning started off with The OC picking a fight with me for no reason. She was let go from my company back at the end of June and has been without work since. She had one job offer about a month ago - worked one day and quit because it wasn't what she expected. I've been trying my best to help her find a job and keeping my eyes and ears open for anything that comes up that might be good for her. So, I was completely thrilled when she was hired last week for a really decent company. She was due to start this past Monday. Tuesday came and I e-mailed her inquiring how it went (she was off that day). Her e-mail back to me said that she was afraid to be honest with me for fear I would judge her. I asked, "Did you quit?" She said no, but she was being screwed by the girl who she will be replacing. I said, "What? How are you being screwed on the first day? What did she do?" She then calls me and rips into me about how dare I judge her and this is exactly what she was afraid of, etc. etc. Excuse me? How am I judging her because I was inquiring as to what happened?? I wound up just saying, "When you calm down, call me back." And I hung up on her. I let it go and didn't think about it for the rest of the day.

I get home to find a nasty e-mail from the brother.... It was one of his usuals - threatening me. I responded, calling him a child and to calm the f down. I also took this time to mentioned that he needs to keep his comments about me to himself and not try to control my mothers thoughts. I get a response not too long after saying that my mother has lied to me - he never said anything to her about me. Interesting.

Then the whole thing went down with my Kel-Kel. I don't think she intentionally hurt me - she never would and I know that. I just really hate when people lie and make up stories about me to make themselves look better (not Kel-Kel, just want to make this clear) and I really hate when my friends don't stick up for me and set the record straight. I realize she didn't think anything wrong of the situation and I am not angry with her. I am more angry at the person who caused all this nonsense and I wish he would just 'fess up and tell the truth about what really happened. (You hit on me and told me how you wanted me when I was 16 and how you thought people would consider you a pervert!) The whole thing is really pathetic and a certain other person is really a master manipulator. Kudos to you D.B. (not Drummer Boy), you know how to get exactly what you want.

To top off the evening, I did not see DB - I only received an e-mail from him. In my hour of pity, I broke down and called "B." His answering machine is no longer on. I call his cell. No answer. I e-mail him and again receive his out of office. He's still out of work?? It's been 2 weeks! "B" has never missed a day of work in his career and now he's out for 2 weeks? This must be serious. Now I am really worried. So much so, I e-mailed his brother this morning to find out just what the heck is going on.

I think the thing that bothered me most about last night is that this is the first time I didn't see DB two days in a row. Then yesterday all I received was a few e-mails. I'm starting to wonder about this situation. It's starting to weigh on me emotionally.... and physically. Is it so wrong for me to want the fairytale? I see all these other couples around me - spending the night with one another, doing double dates, practically living with one another. All DB and I have are a few stolen moments together here and there and I am just not sure I am up to the challenge. Relationships shouldn't be this hard - romantic ones or others. I love him - with all my heart, but I just don't know if I can do this. 10-4 over and out.

Setting the Record Straight....

G'evening Kids & Porn Stars.... In the last few months I have been annoyed and irritated a lot more often than I care to be. Maybe I should just cut people off because it seems to create more problems then they are worth.

I am going to say this once - loud and clear and in writing - and then I never want to be questioned on it again. Or called a liar.
Maggie Sue got married nearly two months ago. I spent days preparing to look good - for my man (at the time) "B." All I wanted was to look good on his arm, to have a great night with him, enjoy myself at the wedding and see my girls. I did not ask to be hit on, but I was. And it pissed "B" off, but it was done. I did not, repeat DID NOT ask to be hit on or doing the hitting. Did I give a certain person my phone number? Yes. Because he asked to keep in touch. That was all it was. Did it make me feel good to find out that a guy I had a crush on in high school had a huge crush on me too? Yes. Was I going to act on it? No. Did I ask his brother to come up to me and tell me how beautiful I looked and say, "Shit, my wife is coming."? No, I didn't. But some how, sure enough, I come off looking like the whore again and I did absolutely nothing. Seriously, people need to get off their high freaking horses.

I am really tired of having a 3rd party unknowingly stir things up. All I was trying to do was to do something nice - and again I get pooped on. I am so done with people. 10-4 over and out.

I've Fallen and I Can't.....

OK Kids, so as I mentioned in my last post, I fell yesterday. Pretty dumb move and it was damn embarrassing. I laughed at myself and Kel-Kel and Bucky enjoyed it as well. I was removing things from my storage facility and lost my footing on a weird lip/crack on the sidewalk ramp thing they have outside as I was pulling a chair down on a dolly. The way my foot landed on this crack, my foot turned on it's side (I do this a lot, LOL, usually when drunk) and I went crashing down. I landed flat on my back. My butt hurt and my ankle hurt a little. I thought nothing of it, shook it off and we kept moving.

Today, my back hurts. My neck hurts. My ankle and the side of my foot hurts. I have a pounding migraine. I am groggy and completely out of it. I go to lunch with my normal crew and they scared the crap out of me. "It could be a concussion - you should go to the ER AND you should sue!," they said to me. I said, "I just want to sleep." "No, don't sleep - you might never wake up again!," they replied..

I am about to poop myself and Mama Dukes is in Florida. :( 10-4 over and out.

I Like to Dip Them in a Parafin Wax....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars.... TGIF. I am happy to say I am working from home today (yea!) Mama Dukes left for Florida yesterday (YEA again - she's been getting on the last nerve lately with all this Briberry - the brother - sh*t going on) so I had to be home while the floor people install her new bedroom flooring.
I really should have just taken the day off because I am ssoo exhausted. However, it's our "busy time" and I can't afford to be out of the office this week or next. Argh, I hate my job, lol.
So, I have been neglecting my blog this past week because exhaustion has set in beyond my control. I am so tired I can't even fathom sleeping. Last weekend my Fantasia Party was cancelled due to so many last minute cancellations. However it's been rescheduled for tomorrow and come hell or high water, I am having the party. LOL. (I've also set up a MySpace website for my business, check, check, check it out... Bethany Fantasia) So, instead of the party last weekend, Kel-Kel, Andrea and I went to Friday's for some din-din and talk :) We hadn't seen Andrea in quite some time, so we spent the time catching up. After dinner, Andrea headed home and Kel-Kel and I headed over to The 'Burg to see my man's band play (and so she could finally meet the guy who brings such a HUGE smile to my face.) I was so excited to see him play and my Kel-Kel helped me out with trying to track down some new clients :) Kel-Kel had to awake early on Saturday AM, so we left around midnight and I rested up waiting for him to come over. :) It was a very nice night indeed.

Saturday - Woke up feeling like death. DB stopped by after his afternoon gig in my town (Town Day, LOL) and we hung out for as long as we could. I had to get ready to head into the Bronx for LC's housewarming party. He stayed too long and I was running late - I still needed to get a gift! I wound up getting to meet Blade on time and we headed over. I felt bad once we realized that so many people bailed on the party, but it was intimate and cool and we had a great time.

I am trying to recap this way too late and I can't remember everything else that happened... It's actually now Monday AM (I can't believe how fast this weekend went!!) Friday I worked from home as we had many repairs going on and Mama Dukes and AK are both in Florida visiting some family. Around 4:30 I cut out of work early (lol) and took a nap. I then headed up to Kel-Kel's for some dinner with her and Bucky (AKA RyRy - LOL. Sorry RyRy, I have to!) After dinner we headed back to their place and chatted and planned out my business cards. I had to leave around 10ish because I was supposed to see DB. I did a quick change and waited for him to call... We decided to head over to PR to see his buddies band play. We were one of about 5 people there. We didn't last that long, maybe 2 drinks. Then we headed back to my place where we hung out for a while (AKA - I passed out and he watched me sleep).

Saturday - I spent the whole day cleaning and preparing for my big shindig that evening. I had no clue who would show, all I knew is that I wanted to place to be spotless.... With 4 dogs and 2 cats, it was nearly impossible, but it was done. My house looked beautiful. I had some last minute purchases and errands to run and the booze I bought in the 24th hour (lol) proved to me a smart choice. :) The party was a success - I was a little too drunk, so next time I need to not drink. The girls had and fun and that's all that matters. DB came over after all the girls left and I, once again, passed out on him. I guess that's what happens when you drink 3/4 of a bottle of Stoli O. Ooops.

Sunday was another long day. Kel-Kel woke me up (I was awake bright and early, but went back to sleep.) We had planned on moving my stuff out of storage in the afternoon. Her sisters were unable to help, Bam-Bam (her sisters dog) bit my leg, I fell down and cracked my head and my ass, and by the end of the day we could only get the couch and chairs to her place. We need to go back another time to get the rest of the stuff. Hopefully after I recover from the fall. Yesterday the pain wasn't bad. Today I am hurting and I have a serious migraine. DB came by last night for about a 1/2 hour before work. He's too cute.

Thursday night he gave me a gift. He said the "L" word. I really do love this boy. I hurt when I don't see him. My heart actually hurts when I miss him. I told him I don't like this vulnerable side of me. :) I hope he comes by tonight. I need to get back to work now... This is my "crazy" time and since I don't feel well, it takes twice as long to get motivated to do something. I don't think OT is in my future tonight. Damn. I need a vacation. STAT. 10-4 over and out.