I Want the Fairytale....

G'morning Kids & Porn Stars. Yesterday was a bad day all around. My morning started off with The OC picking a fight with me for no reason. She was let go from my company back at the end of June and has been without work since. She had one job offer about a month ago - worked one day and quit because it wasn't what she expected. I've been trying my best to help her find a job and keeping my eyes and ears open for anything that comes up that might be good for her. So, I was completely thrilled when she was hired last week for a really decent company. She was due to start this past Monday. Tuesday came and I e-mailed her inquiring how it went (she was off that day). Her e-mail back to me said that she was afraid to be honest with me for fear I would judge her. I asked, "Did you quit?" She said no, but she was being screwed by the girl who she will be replacing. I said, "What? How are you being screwed on the first day? What did she do?" She then calls me and rips into me about how dare I judge her and this is exactly what she was afraid of, etc. etc. Excuse me? How am I judging her because I was inquiring as to what happened?? I wound up just saying, "When you calm down, call me back." And I hung up on her. I let it go and didn't think about it for the rest of the day.

I get home to find a nasty e-mail from the brother.... It was one of his usuals - threatening me. I responded, calling him a child and to calm the f down. I also took this time to mentioned that he needs to keep his comments about me to himself and not try to control my mothers thoughts. I get a response not too long after saying that my mother has lied to me - he never said anything to her about me. Interesting.

Then the whole thing went down with my Kel-Kel. I don't think she intentionally hurt me - she never would and I know that. I just really hate when people lie and make up stories about me to make themselves look better (not Kel-Kel, just want to make this clear) and I really hate when my friends don't stick up for me and set the record straight. I realize she didn't think anything wrong of the situation and I am not angry with her. I am more angry at the person who caused all this nonsense and I wish he would just 'fess up and tell the truth about what really happened. (You hit on me and told me how you wanted me when I was 16 and how you thought people would consider you a pervert!) The whole thing is really pathetic and a certain other person is really a master manipulator. Kudos to you D.B. (not Drummer Boy), you know how to get exactly what you want.

To top off the evening, I did not see DB - I only received an e-mail from him. In my hour of pity, I broke down and called "B." His answering machine is no longer on. I call his cell. No answer. I e-mail him and again receive his out of office. He's still out of work?? It's been 2 weeks! "B" has never missed a day of work in his career and now he's out for 2 weeks? This must be serious. Now I am really worried. So much so, I e-mailed his brother this morning to find out just what the heck is going on.

I think the thing that bothered me most about last night is that this is the first time I didn't see DB two days in a row. Then yesterday all I received was a few e-mails. I'm starting to wonder about this situation. It's starting to weigh on me emotionally.... and physically. Is it so wrong for me to want the fairytale? I see all these other couples around me - spending the night with one another, doing double dates, practically living with one another. All DB and I have are a few stolen moments together here and there and I am just not sure I am up to the challenge. Relationships shouldn't be this hard - romantic ones or others. I love him - with all my heart, but I just don't know if I can do this. 10-4 over and out.