Friday, May 12, 2006

I Finally Got It!!!!!

That’s right kiddies, the Pink Razr phone is now MINE. I couldn’t wait any longer and Verizon sucks balls because I was eligible for the New Every Two because there was still a month left on my contract. What c**ksuckers. Anywho, the phone is mine and I have the latching cute pink Bluetooth.



























I’m excited.
This week has been crazy. I’m not sure what I can talk about and what I can’t. Let me start out with that I started walking at lunch time with my co-worker (we’ll call her the OC). It’s been nice to get some exercise and when you have someone to walk with, the time flies by (it also flies because it is the only time during the day I am not stressed out with work!)

I called Mercy to confirm they received my application. They did, but no where on the application did it ask for recommendations, my resume, or a goal statement. So now I have to get those things into them. My boss gave me a little crap about the recommendation. He thought it meant that once I was accepted I would be quitting. What part of tuition reimbursement did he miss? I make good money for what I do here (I know I am worth more), so why would I leave and be in debt up to my eyeballs when I can just take classes at night? Duh. LOL. He gets so paranoid. Now I need to find a second reference and I have an idea of who I might ask. I’ll keep you posted.

Wednesday was a scary day for me. I was very close to losing a friend. I will keep their name out of this because it’s really no ones business. This person is having a rough time at life right now. We’ve all been there – nothing seems to be going right. Nothing seems to be on the upswing. I called her to talk to her about a job opening in my company and she was not sounding like herself. “I did something stupid,” she said. She went on to tell me she took 25+ Tylenol PM’s. I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock and I wasn’t sure what to do. I hung up with her, signed off my computer, yelled to my boss and left to her house. I called her on the way to keep her talking. When I got to her place she came outside and I rushed her to the ER. I was just glad to get her there and into good (safe) hands). Mama Dukes arrived and called her parentals (much to her dismay). I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because she must’ve felt so alone to have done that. She must’ve felt as though she has no one to count on – no one to depend on. I wanted to scream at her and tell her “I’M HERE FOR YOU!!!!” But, when someone is that down and out, you can’t scream at them. You can only continue to support them and tell them how much they are loved. I’m not sure how to feel about this, what to expect, or how to help. I feel like everything I say or do is wrong and might make things worse. I’m very confused.

To get my mind off of things, “B” and I were supposed to celebrate his birthday this weekend. We were supposed to do dinner at his favorite restaurant so I called him yesterday for the name and number so I could make a reservation. He doesn’t call me back, he e-mails me the following:
“I was in a meeting when you called.
I'm hoping I can make it this weekend. I'm as sick as a dog. I have a big time fever. I'm sweating here and cold at the same time. Feeling like cr*p for the last few days now.”
So I wrote back, “I have other things reserved and planned. Should I cancel?” I have yet to hear back from him and that was yesterday morning. I cancelled everything. So I guess we are going to have to wait to celebrate since he is leaving for Alabama for a week leaving next weekend. So, my weekend is pretty much shot. So I called “Harrison” to see what he was doing this weekend (tonight). He, of course, is working late today, but we might get together afterwards. We had a really nice talk last night (again), but, as usual, it ended with a talk about the status of our relationship. Why can’t things be simple? We are both emotionally f*d up right now, I get that. But every time his ex calls, I can’t have him telling me he can’t see me anymore because he’s bummed out. I’m sorry, but it’s been 3 months. It’s time to start healing. So I laid all my cards out for him and said, “Do you want to marry her because that’s probably going to be the next step if you get back with her. It sounds to me like you want to go back with her because that’s all you’ve known for three years and it was your routine. But do you really love her like, are you in love with her?” We talked for a while about this and once again fell back to he and I are hanging out with no pressure – we enjoy one another’s company – and whatever happens, happens. He told me that when he is with me, he feels a real connection to me, but when he’s not with me, he doesn’t think about me because emotionally, he is f*d up. But the other night he told me he missed me and was thinking about me. How can someone who ended a 3 year relationship be so screwed up after it when THEY did the ending? I wish I could get into his head and take a look around. If not anything else, he might make a good case study for when I am back in school and I can write my thesis on him. LOL. I can’t help but have this really good gut feeling about him and where things are going with him, but I can’t keep going back and forth on what is happening with us every time she calls him or every time he has a bad day and thinks about the fact that he is now “alone.” Point blank, how I left it with him, “If you wanted to marry her, you would never have felt trapped and you would have married her.” I guess I should heed my own advice (“B”). I guess we are a perfect match, f*d up emotionally and all. LOL.

I am starving and I can’t wait for lunch to be here already. Actually, I’d much rather it be 5 PM already so I could get the heck out of here for the weekend.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies and mommies to be out there. I will be celebrating with Mama Dukes and AK at - that's right kiddies - The Melting Pot. I had forgotten I sent them an e-mail the other day about how nice our server was and how nasty the hostess was and gave them all my correct info when I made a reservation. So I got an e-mail from the owner telling me he was looking forward to seeing me and my mother on Sunday. Wonderful. Open Mouth, insert foot. Argh. LOL. 10-4 over and out.

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